A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a boyrfriend, but am practically in love with this other guy who i used to date, and still talk to. I don't think it's fair to be with someone who i don't truely like in that way. I know i need to end it with my boyfrend, but i know he's really happy, and i don't want the breakup to come as totally out of the blue for him? We've only been together a month.The thing is i don't want to break up with him, by telling him i don't want to be with him because i love someone else. I'd just feel so bad. How can i break up with him, by saying how i feel, but without mentioning a guy in particular, and i know he won't settle for any lame excuse.Thanks Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2008): either way - he's gonna find out
girls are good at deception but terrible at perception... guys, vice versa.
he's gonna know
you're only making the situation harder by not telling him.
ppl say that 'ignorance is bliss', but that advice only applies to people who are too weak to reveal the truth
you need to tell him - he'll appreciate ur honesty and it will help 'him' in the long run so that he doesn't get the impression that this was his fault
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (7 April 2008):
 I think it would be best if you didn't mention you have feelings for someone else. All he would need to know is that you're not into him anymore. Telling him that there's another guy will make him think something is the matter with him, and you want this to be as soft as possible, don't you?
But be honest and straightforward. Don't give him any hope that you're coming back to him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2008): It could be a problem if your boyfriends happy, but if you are not then something has to be done. If you are not happy you have to tell him. I would sit down with him and just explain, that at first you really did love him, but now you have just started to develop feelings for someone else. Do not mention any names, if he asks tell him it doesnt matter. Carry on explaining that you felt it was unfair on him, lying to him about all of it, when there is little feeling left. Tell him you feel horrible but feel better for telling him the truth and not lying to him more. Say your sorry and hope you can stay really close friends. Hopefully he will feel better about you telling him the truth and wont be as hurt as he may have been if you'd lied.
Hope this helped.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2008): how can you do it without feeling bad? not possible. but do you and him a favour, and be upfront about it. the only way hes going to understand is if you lay it to him straight, even if it will hurt. you've only been together for a month, it really should'nt kill the guy too much.
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