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male
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anonymous
writes: My wife feels like she was destroyed by two boys when she was younger. These boys caught her in a room by herself and took advatage of her. One was a brutal rape, but the others where when she was very drunk and she did not want it to happen but the guy pretty much just did it. He did this on two occasions. She said dont but he did it before her mind could react. My question is, how can I help her? She blames herself for this and it has taken away her dignaty. This all happened before we where ever together, but her self worth still suffers fore it. She says it lasted about one minute each but the effects lasted forever.
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female
reader, p.gurl  +, writes (14 January 2010):
The only way to help her is to be there for her. I have been raped and know how you feel like it is your fault.. Its not! just keep telling her it wasn't her fault. I don't care if you are drunker then drunk nobody has the right to rape you... Tell her to keep her chin up.
A
male
reader, OwHiTeLiOnO +, writes (25 April 2008):
 She is in denial, that is complete BS that her mind was slow to respond. She totally wanted it each & every time. Just forget about it & concern more with your future & how to spice up the sex life, get a babysitter, nice lil 3some will have you both forgetting about the rapes. It could be that your sex life is so boring that she keeps thinking about her past because consciously or subconsciously it excites her. I would bet that at least 1 of 3 times you have sex with her that she is reliving those rapes in her mind.
OwHiTeLiOnO
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A
male
reader, David Lewis  +, writes (9 October 2006):
 You are helping her by being so caring and supportive, but I feel she would greatly benefit from professional help. I would suggest you find a good therapist who deals with this type of situation on a regular basis. Talking about it to you shows she must love you very much, as it is not the easiest topic to be so open about.
She sounds like a wonderful woman and you have been wonderful by being so supportive. I feel with the right counselling, this could bring you even closer.
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