A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating my boyfriend for one year now. Since then quite a few of his female "friends" from his past keep coming out of the woodwork, still. Some turned out that they had once been more than friends but because he calls them all friends, it's tough not to question it now. We have fought about it alot as at the beginning he seemed to be encouraging it by emailing or calling. He'd send a happy birthday to an old girlfriend, make plans to see them if we went on vacation (which we didnt' because I felt it inappropriate), one called him asking to visit this summer and now his text and phone ringing at 7:00 AM of some other "friend" who he says was calling to invite him to her wedding. What happened to good ole invitations? THis is probably the 5th woman who has called, or texted, or emailed or some form of contact in a year. So far he's put a stop to it because I get upset but now this new "friend". I don't bring my past relationships to our new one so I dont' think he should and I get offendened and feel its inappropriate. I'm also respectful and don't call my own "friends" late at night or first thing in the AM, no matter who so if she knows about me (which he claims she does) and she's getting married, why would she call a guy at 7;00 AM and text him Friday at 11:30 PM? Am i wrong to think this way?
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female
reader, boo22  +, writes (27 July 2009):
 Hi, i'm sure you'll be fine. He's doing as you ask at least and not leading a secret life emailing visiting and calling behind your back. At our time of life there's no such thing as a guy without a past, so men always come with some baggage. Trust your gut feeling, it'll be right.
A
female
reader, Original shiraz! +, writes (27 July 2009):
Apolagies i did not finish my response, try that but be fair in how you do it, hes been fair to you in that hes stopped as soon as hes seen its upset you this shows how much he loves you and how genuine he is to the relationship. Once youve told him how you feel things may be different, everyone has a past that comes back to hunt them and i respect why you feel this way yet if its harmless chatting dont think the worst, if he feels you dont trust him it may push him the wrong way.
Talk to him, best of luck
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A
female
reader, Original shiraz! +, writes (27 July 2009):
Your right to be feeling the way you do yet the fact that shes getting married indicates its not what your thinking. Say to him imagine how youd feel if guys were calling me up my ex boyfriends just started ringing me up at silly hours etc, put the shoe on the other foot type thing.
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