A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi ya, what can i say apart from im driving myself demented with worry and insecurity. I have been seeing a lovely bloke for 2 months he lives 80 miles away but we get on great. Unfortunately at the moment he is in his last 10 weeks of a 3 year course at uni. I visited him the weekend and what started as a lovely weekend turned into a nightmare, he did some studies and within a few hours didnt want to come near me talk to me etc, he explained that he is really worried about failing and can only concentrate on that for now. This week I have tried to communicate with him but only quick texts here and there, i am receiving texts back with kisses on but they seem cold etc. He explained that he is really behind and needs to focus on this. My problem is and i am driving friends demented to with it is I am convinced he doesnt want to be with me, he wants to end it, trying to give me the hint etc. I am at the point where I feel selfish because I should back off but due to past experiences I just cant change how I feel. I asked him at the weekend if he wanted to end it and he said he didnt he said his ideal situation would be to get his degree and still have his girlfriend at the end of it. I just wish I could snap out of this before I drive us both mad. Any advice would be great.
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male
reader, DV1  +, writes (8 June 2007):
 If you love him, you'll be understanding. He's working towards a future. Would you rather him be able to give you a good future, and have goals, or be living with his parents the rest of his life? He's working towards success, and that's the type of guy that you should want to be with. He's driven. Stick by his side, and I promise you, only good things will come from it.
Dv1
A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (8 June 2007):
 Uni is so hard, especially in the final year. Trust me, I've just finished my last exams. There is nothing more stressful than the last year because you're only as good as your last qualification and even if he has the best a level results in the world, falling to pieces in his degree will seriously hinder him. Since you're getting so het up by this I suggest asking him if you can take a break until he finishes his exams so you can stop worrying so much but if you don't want to do this you have to trust him. He's told you he wants to be with you and he wouldn't have time to cheat on you. Finals are much too stressful.
CD
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A
male
reader, rk06 +, writes (8 June 2007):
 I understand your insecurity. Trust me though, he has spent a lot of time and money in receiving his degree from the university. I admire the man for keeping his priorities straight. He realizes that if you two are to end up together, you will back him through all of this.
Dont worry, I am sure he wants to see you badly, but realizes that he cant right now. He may even be trying to do his best so that you two can have a great life together after he gets out.
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