A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone, so I have a little dilemma. A few months ago me and my boyfriend broke up. I was angry and ended things with him. I continued my life, even though it hurt so much that we weren't together because I still loved him. While we were broken up he would still come and see me and tell me he loved me and we slept together a few times. I asked him if he was seeing another woman and he said he wasn't. One time I went to surprise him at his house and saw another girl there with him in front of his house. I didn't think much of it but I had my suspicions. Eventually we got back together and everything was wonderful. Recently a girl texted him and I saw it. I clicked on the message and whole conversations loaded. I saw they were flirting and exited out as soon as I read the last 3 texts. I asked around and apparently it's a girl I know who he dated while we were apart. He lied to me the entire time saying there was no one when there was. One of the worst parts was that today I found out that two of cousins, who I've never really talked to besides a casual hello, dont like me and brought this girl around when they knew he was hurting over me to get them together. It's his family and I'm going to have to see them often, im so angry since I don't really even know then enough for them to do all of this.My main question is how could I trust him now that he says everything is done with that girl and they didn't sleep together when he has apparently lied so much to me when we were "broken up". Also what do I do with his cousins who I don't really know but apparently hate me enough to bad mouth me and hook him up with a girl who they knew was a little skanky. I've never had issues with his family they all love me but these two girls apparently don't. The holidays are coming up and I don't know how to keep my temper under control or how to act since it just happened and I'm still so angry about it.
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female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (21 November 2015):
 His cousins did nothing wrong by introducing him to someone else. They had no reason to think you two would get back together and were trying to bolster his spirits, just as your friends or family might do for you.
I can't read his cousins' minds, of course, but there is nothing in your posts that suggests they bear you ill will. Acting on your anger would be trashy and immature and if, IF, they didn't care for you before, they'll certainly have grounds to dislike you afterward. Don't put him in the middle over something like this.
Maybe he should have been honest about dating someone while you were apart, but perhaps you shouldn't have asked if you couldn't handle honesty. He knew that about you so he sought to spare you both a lot of unnecessary grief.
If he hasn't done anything that causes you to question him, then bury this and move on.
A
female
reader, Mina_Bhamji  +, writes (21 November 2015):
 To be honest, you can't blame the cousins. A man is going to do what he wants to do, just because they introduced her to him, it was up to him on whether he wanted to carry on seeing her, so that's all on him. The most you can do with that side is tell him, for future references you don't want family to get involved.
Now for the texting and lies etc. You've got to overcome that with him, you either give him the benefit of the doubt or ask the girl what's up just so you can have ease in your mind. Or best thing to do is tell him you want them two to have 0 contact now you two are back together. If he has a problem with that then something is fishy, I would recommend the no contact until he chooses what he wants, cause you aren't a doormat
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