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His cheating may have resulted in a child, I am also pregnant and he's asking me for an extra chance, any advice?

Tagged as: Cheating, Family, Pregnancy, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 November 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 2 November 2008)
A female United States age 51-59, *onflicted and wounded writes:

Hi, I have been with my bf for 7yrs and I am now 14wks pregnant...this is suppose to be a joyous time in ourlives but it is not because he has done the unthinkable by cheating and possibly is a father to a wk old child...he claims he could be his but is set to do a dna..the person who he cheated on me is a 20yr old who has another child from someone else...I don't believe in just because someone could have similar features you are related..but at the same time he states the child looks like her other child and now my inlaws are here visiting but not us to see this baby..we were set to get married next yr..this is a real test from god...my bf states he doesn't want to loose me and says we will get through if I could give him a chance..

but I feel like this little girl is going to use this child every chance she gets to have my bf come around because she keeps asking if he and I are going to stay together..what it is she does not work her other child father does not help so I feel she knows that there is a possibility that my bf is not the true father but because he doing why spoil it...this is a mix child just like the other..please give me some advice.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2008):

I think you should just wait to see the DNA test and then go from there if it is his and you stay with him not only will she and the child be apart of his life but yours as well! so you truly have to decide whether or not your ready top be a step mother or not! For your sake I hope its not his but anything's possible! i'll pray for you and please give us an update when you find out! good luck

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A female reader, Miss Potter United Kingdom +, writes (1 November 2008):

Miss Potter agony auntI would advice to wait for the DNA test results first and take it from there. Get to see those papers yourself though! If they confirm he is the father - do you still want to be with him and have this child? If he is the father I think this girl most certainly will use that to milk her only cow - he will be paying upto 40% of his income to her and his daughter. So you are destined to live on your wage and the left overs from his wage. He will also spend time and money on the child outside those 40%, presents, trips, fuel to get to see her, school necessities. Until she is 18. At least. I am not trying to sound petty, but to raise a child is expensive, even if that child doesnt go to a private school. Mobile phones, internet, magazines, lipstick, new clothes, pocket money...and all of this on his wage, because mommy doesnt work. Are you ready for this? Is he worth it? Can you find a better deal for yourself? A man who doesnt cheat stupidly? Men do cheat and women cheat, but its important not to lose your head, why have unprotected sex? And put your future in danger?

Anyway thats in the case he is the father.

If he is not, still consider whether you want to be with him after all of this?

Best of luck x

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