A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my partner for 5 years, we have always argued and had many ups and downs, including him cheating x3) but still loved each other. Over the last year, he has been increasingly nasty when we argue. He has in the past told people lies like I have attacked him with a knife, has run away (he's 30) among other things, walked out on me, and has shown violent and aggressive tendencies when he's lost his temper. Last week, he started picking fights and making nasty comments for no reason. I put it down to the long hours he was working in a stressful job. However, he has not returned to normal this time, he has not told me he loves me, acts like he hates me and sleeps downstairs. He only talks to shout at me or say something nasty. It is becoming unbearable at home and I can't deal with this. I don't want to leave but I am on the verge of walking out of my home. I don't know if he has some sort of mental problem, he has in the past wrecked a house in a temper, screamed abuse in the middle of a shop and treated me and friends and family like dirt. I don't know what to do, does anyone have any idea about this pattern of behaviour or have any advice for me? Pleeeaaassseee!!!
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female
reader, Devilish Angel  +, writes (20 January 2008):
 Sounds like he has problems. Leave his ass. Kick him out. You deserve to be treated like a lady and not like trash. If he starts getting nasty when you leave him/break up, call the police. Try breaking up over the phone or having male relatives/friends near. Be safe and be strong. You don't need him and his abuse.
A
female
reader, Dawnie +, writes (19 January 2008):
 Yes i would certainly leave this bully, he is also a cheat. One affair you can forgive but three?
You don't need to be with someone who treats you so despicably. I know i would not put up with it.
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A
female
reader, hello1 +, writes (19 January 2008):
 Leave, it's that simple. I don't understand and properly never will why women stay in abusive relationships. I love my boyfreind but I would certainly leave if he did what your partner did.
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (19 January 2008):
 Sorry Bubbloo I mis-spelt your name.
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (19 January 2008):
Get out of this relationship !!! You worth so much more than some vile bully constantly putting you down, there is no excuse for his behaviour he will never change. As Bubberloo said you should have walked out on him when he first cheated on you, three affairs is taking the p*ss.
Find yourself a respectable and decent guy, who does not treat you like something he has just scraped off his shoe.
You owe him nothing as he has virtually no imput in this so-called relationship. If you want to talk about this further please drop me a line my love. A problem shared is a problem halved. Take care. Dusky xxx
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A
female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (19 January 2008):
 Wooaahh! What a pickle!
But you REALLY need to think about how you see yourself... from your post it would seem that you accept being treated like this. You don't deserve to be treated this way! He needs to sort himself out!
Think of your ideal guy... the list of things you'd like from this guy wouldn't be:
- a cheater - THREE TIMES( I would have left him after the first!)
- is nasty to you constantly
- shows no affection
- treats you like sh*t
You KNOW you can do better than this. It appears that he's becoming verbally abusive, and NO abuse in a relationship is acceptable.
Realise that you are worth more than that. Pack your bags while he's out and stay with a friend or your parents. He needs to realise that he CANNOT treat people this way. You need to forget about this guy and get with someone who'll look after you, be affectionate and most of all show that he loves you by treating you with the respect you deserve -that's every girl's dream! Why settle for second best?
He most likely will try to win you back by calling you or something... but just remember how hurt and angry you are feeling now at his behaviour coz he'll be the same person he is now if you get back with him.
It will be hard... I'm not gonna lie. But put yourself first for once.
If you saw your relationship being portrayed on TV or if a friend was in the same position as you - wouldn't you say that this guy is an *sshole and they should leave him??
Step outside and look at this relationship - is it really worth trying to hold on to something that he's not willing to give anything to? It seems you're the only one working the relationship.
I hope you make the right decision.
Take care xx
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