A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm a seperated woman of 34, with 2 daughters 8 and 5. I met this lovely guy and am dating him now for only a matter of weeks, the thing is he is 10 years younger, neither of us are bothered about the age gap, he has not met my girls and won't till I'm/there ready which he is okay with. I'm starting to worry about the age gap as from my marriage of 11 years I was left with very little trust, I don't like lies or cheats... I just want to know should I try and relax and enjoy what we have which is what I would like to do, or should I stop being selfish and let him go so I don't hurt a good man with my issues from a bad marriage? Our relationship is at a very early stage, I don't want to get hurt either but would it be better now than later? We have talked about this and he tells me to stop worrying lol like I said I don't want to hurt a good man.... thanks Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2008): Hi Hunny
Im 45 my fiance is 23 Ive never been happier and ive been married 3 times to 3 arses so if he is happy then go for it and be happy with him TAKE CARE OF ALL OF YOU LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2008): thank you all so much, helping me with my worries, just need that kick, as no one else to help. thing is i really, really like him, but with him been younger more bothered bout him geting hurt at this moment in time.. once again thanks x x x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2008): Just first, think about why you have a niggle. As others have said trust your gut.
BUT
Make sure, before you bring thing guy into your family world completely, you know how he handles stress, what he stands for and if he has any problems which could be a warning sign.
Unfortunately, I had a similar situation, 7 years later, he had an affair and has a problem with my family! Oops.
Much harder to change your mind once all the infomation comes out and you only received it in bits and pieces. Get serious when you know most of the basics about him.
I wish you all the best.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (6 March 2008):
 Hi,
It is one of societies great mysteries that it is fine for a man to date a woman 10 years younger but not for a woman.
Having said that ,if you are carrying emotional baggage with you it may start to wear thin as the relationship starts to move out of the honeymoon stage. He is a young guy in his 20's for now you guys are hot for each other, but in the future you need that bedrock of commitment with each other for it to work.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2008): Age is a number, and what really matters is maturtity level. I am early 40's, and have been with a man 12 years younger for 4 years. We get a long great, and have a lot in common. But do take it slow - make sure you really get to know each other to ensure you are on the same page as far as your relationship!Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (6 March 2008):
 Hi
Snap. Well, almost. When i was 32 i met a 22 yr old. To be honest, it was a fun 2 years, but it was never going to go the distance. A guy in his early 20's needs to live yet. Even though he always assured me he wanted to be with me forever, and he did get on good with my kids who were about 5 and 7 then. But it didnt go past 2 yrs and that was 3 yrs ago we split, we are still mates and oh yes, he has livvvvvvvvvvved since then! lol Girls parties girls booze girls girls and more girls. Thats normal for someone in their 20's! But no. He wasnt seeing any of that while we were together. But thats not un common for someone thats young. We've all heard of the 16 yr old girls that get into relationships with older guys and think they wanna spend the rest of their lives with them, odds are, they wont in the long run though.
I think if you already have insecurities in relationships, its gonna be a tough time ahead. I think if having a much younger man, women need to have a lot of self esteem and confidence, because the reminder is always there that you're no spring chicken and they are!
I wouldnt be worrying so much about wasting his time though, he's younger, he will move on easier. I would be more concerned about the children. Took my kids a little time to stop missing him.
If children are involved i think we owe it to them to make sensible long term decisions. But i didnt learn that til my 30's.
If you stick at it, hope it works out.
Good luck.
C xxxxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2008): Age has never been a problem to me, but i know there are people who dont think it is a good idea for an older woman with kids to be going out with someone so young. If you two are having a good time then go for it, dont let others views spoil it for you. It is up to you who you see, but i would wait quite some time before introducing him to your kids.
take care
xx
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A
female
reader, nicola_r +, writes (6 March 2008):
I don't think age is a problem, lot's of women have older men so an older woman having a younger man shouldn't be a problem. If it doesn't bother you and you both get on well just relax, take things slowly and enjoy yourself. My man is younger than me and we get along fine, we have loads of fun and he gets on brilliantly with my 2 year old daughter from a previous relationship.
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A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (6 March 2008):
 HEY!!
Well have faith in the relationship and see how it goes :) I know you will have problem with trusting people but yes try and relax :)
GOOD LUCK!! Feel free to mail me at any time x x x
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