A
female
age
26-29,
*iancaaa.x.
writes:My boyfriend and i have been together for so long, we met over the internet at the beggining of 2008 and we met face to face on 14th august 2009. we have been through so much. we have so many memories. we go different places, especially because he lives in stamford and i live in ipswich so we both experience and go different places all the time, and go to the same places like the cinema. we have had some troubles during our relationship but i think this is the toughest badest one yet. i am only 15 and he has now only turned 18. he wants to go out clubbing now as hes started and hes added a load of girls on facebook. I only see him on weekends as i live far away, so every saturday he will want to go out. i only want him to every other weekend so he can spend a weekend at mine aswell but he wont he wants to go every weekend. do you think that its just because hes only just starting to party? hes going to react this way were he wants to go out every weekend but will if fade to just every other weekend after a while as it will become a usual thing to him so he wont wanna do it as much he says he wants me and him to be together forever and work out and he says the only reason he would ever leave me is if he hurts me so im trying to be strong and not show him how hurt i am otherwise he will leave me because he don't want me to get hurt anymore what should i do? I'm so low and can't eat because im so upset and always want to cry because everywhere i go it reminds me of him because we have a funny memorie together that i just dont want that to end because were doing more and more every weekend but now partying is in the way hes going to meet girls and not want me, i just don't want him to leave me but the real question i want to know is... is it always going to be this way? will he always want to party every weekend? or will he just go every other weekend? Please help me and answer anything you can i dont wanna feel like this anymore i want him back we was a perfect couple i dont wanna lose him so please dont tell me to just leave him because i'm not. i love him too much! ive already been taking stress pills and stuff from worrying hes going to cheat or leave me please help! thank you so much for reading xxx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2010): First off, and luckily, you guys are too young. From my experience (I’m a 19 year old girl) younger girls tend to be in for the long haul only to dabble with short term relationships while many guys tends to be for short term and as they mature, they maintain more long-term relationships. With that said, it seems like your boyfriend may still be a bit immature.
Do you know what happens in clubs? People generally go in to network and date/dance with other people. It’s a place full of temptations (and usually) single people. Generally there is no “real” dancing, but more so grinding and making out. There is a ton of alcohol, young people, and it is meant to be a fun and carefree experience. This is NOT the place to go if you don’t want to be tempted to cheat. In fact, most people I know went WITH their partner rather than go alone and dance with a random person. Since you have noticed that he’s adding more girls on FB, this is a pretty clear sign that he has been meeting other girls, posing possible temptations to cheat (if he already hasn’t).
Another warning sign is that he is picking CLUBBING over you. When guys mature or are ready to be with one person or settle down completely the need/urge to go out with all their single guy friends or do activities such as clubbing diminish. Chances are he still wants to meet new people/women, and while it doesn’t mean he’ll cheat, it will put stress on the relationship. Whether or not your press the issue. Also, guys do know how to manage time. The order in which he does things will often tell you how important that activity is to him. And if he is choosing clubbing over spending alone time with you, that’s not really a good sign.
The issues you are having will most likely grow due to long distance and lack of communication. This isn’t your fault, it happens.. You seem like a very caring person so once you heal from this (which you will) you will either find yourself in a healthier relationship with him or (and mostly likely) a healthier relationship with someone else.
If you are having difficulty seeing things clearly or making sense of things try changing roles. If you were him, going clubbing suddenly, and meeting new guys…how would you expect your boyfriend to feel? Hurt? Jealous? Those feelings are legitimate and shouldn’t be ignored. If someone is hurting you that much it is no longer a healthy relationship. You two either need to talk openly about it or end it.
I’m worried about how much this will stress you out. Try to relax, realize that this has/will be a good ecprience for you and that you are a catch. Good luck!
A
male
reader, Duckiies  +, writes (19 August 2010):
 Well. Its my opinion . i dont know how much you care about this boy. Things don't seem what they really are.
For example, My brother had this girlfriend over 5 years now.. they fell in love just like that. They were so happy for one another it seems endless. I never thought they would break it in a million years.But sadly they did. I dont get it but they both moved on because they lost touch.
Another example my other brother who dated a girl for 4 years.. just broke up because they lost interest or they about to go different paths.
Endless to same. love is unpredictable. If you still stand strong from him .. thats great.. just be warn and dont fell upset things will change
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A
female
reader, Biancaaa.x. +, writes (19 August 2010):
Biancaaa.x. is verified as being by the original poster of the question Duckiies, i know he does like me.... and i know he loves me because were still going out and he tells me the only way he wud over leave me is if i get hurt, which i am, but im not going to show that to him over wise he will leave me, and we have been together for so long, i dault he would get with someone, and fall in love with her in one night, when we have gone through so much and been together for so long, me and him have been speaking alot and we have been really happy past these few hours today, before we wasint arguing, i was just upset he would leave me :( i pray everynight for me and jak to stay strong and stay together, thats how much, i am in love with this boy! thankyou for answering my questions, though! xx
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A
male
reader, Duckiies +, writes (18 August 2010):
Move on. Im sorry. I dont think you can handle him.. If he stay with him any longer, than he will find a another girl.
Just straight up and ask him . do you still like me.
He is fading away. I know its haard.. to tell you the truth I had the same situation.. I dated a girl who is 19 year old she likes to do the things your bf do. Soon enough she wanted to end it because she find someone at the club who is i guess cuter than me. I was heartbroken. So best advice is move on and find sum1 your own age
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