A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I met a man online, we chatted, then called one another. We have talked every day since. Things were fantastic. He was falling for me so quickly that it freaked me out a little. He scared me. I have a busy life with family and friends and although he didn't feel threatened by it, he mentioned that he would have though he should have been a priority. I told him that my plans have been in place for months. We currently live in different countries, and we haven't met yet. Well, on day he said he was going to come to met me and I said No.. He has personal things to handle and I thought he should stay there. I absolutely blew it. He has pulled away from me so much. He doesn't call anymore, it's been me. I've apologized to him and told him that I was only thinking of his situation and not his feelings. I burst his bubble. I've tried different things to entice him again but he's truly not responding the way he had. He is coming to meet me this week but I just don't know what to do or say. However, he told me that he gets the feeling that everything is on my terms. But, he doesn't know me and I'm a wonderful person, great companion and I do give my all to my man. What do I do when I see him? How can I secure our feelings again?
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male
reader, SensitiveBloke  +, writes (15 October 2014):
 You're trying to run before you can walk. This is a guy you've never even met in person. Slow down!!!
You can never get to know anyone properly until you actually meet them face-to-face.
Meet up and take things from there, and slowly!
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (15 October 2014):
 He wanted a fantasy, not you. Instant perfect relationship.
If you FELT like he was going 100mph and you were comfortable with 35.. then you did nothing WRONG. For someone to come on WAY to strong when they DO NOT know you, IS a red flag. Your gut instinct was right.
Now you COULD have suggested to MEET up while he was in your country, he wouldn't have had to stay AT your house. So maybe YOU aren't ready for the reality of dating? Which means getting to know a person, IN PERSON. not just flirting and chatting online.
My guess is he has moved on to someone else. I don't think you can "make" him chase you again.
Now he said that he felt that everything had to be on your terms.. Well, from how he acted it seems like he wanted everything on HIS terms too, didn't it? And when you weren't ready to move at lightning speed he got pouty and all those "grand feelings" he declared for you vanished like dew in the sun. Honey, he was NEVER as serious as he said. LOOK at his actions. IF he REALLY cared so strongly and deeply for you, HE would have been OK with going slower and at YOUR pace.
Maybe try date someone closer by?
I'd let Mr. Online Loverboy go.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2014): I really think you are putting way too much into this. You haven't even met him in person or spent any time with him so you have no clue what he is really like. Different countries is a red flag and he could be some sort of a con artist.
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