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He's not ready for a relationship but wants one with me later - I'm worried he just said this to make me happy! Opinions please?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 November 2006) 2 Answers - (Newest, 14 November 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

Hi there, sorry this is long but hope somebody can help. Im in love with my best male mate. I have known him 4 months a short period of time but it was pretty much love at first sight for me we met in a club and chatted and he asked me if I would like to go for a drink with him. We was about to meet up and he txt asking if we was meeting as friends as he wasnt ready for a relationship I agreed and we have been meeting ever since. We actually meet up 2 - 3 times a week (more regular than I see my female friends) we talk on the phone every day sometimes twice a day. He knows that im in love with him and he has never felt feared by this, because he is always honest I believe he would tell me. Over the past couple of weeks there have been a few problems mainly my jealousy towards his other female friends and my intensity as I was at the point that I was texting him constantly and I was driving him away. So I decided to knock it all on the head I wasnt texting or ringing, I wasnt being nasty or playing games but I decided I wasnt being fair towards him and was giving him space. Since doing this he has been ringing me twice a day at work, instigating when we can meet up again and genuinally coming forward. Three weeks ago we did sit down and talk and he admitted that when he is ready for a relationship again he would like to be with me, but he also doesnt want me putting my life on hold cause he doesnt know when he will be ready. My problem is im not interested in any other men cause I have such strong feelings for this guy, im just worried that he is telling me things like this to make me happy. I cant tell if he really is interested or not. Everybody else can see a light at the end of the tunnel except me. Im just wondering what peoples opinions of this are. P.s. we are both 31 so not teenagers plus we are not intimate in anyway so its not a sex thing.

View related questions: at work, jealous, period, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2006):

Hi I can confirm that im the originator of this question. In answer to Juls question yeah he came out of a long term relationship back end of last year where he was extremely hurt. He needs time to greive. thanks for your good advice tho

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A female reader, Juls +, writes (13 November 2006):

You need to know why he's not ready for a relationship. If it's because he's on the rebound from someone else, then it's a good thing, it shows his respect. You should stick around. If he just doesn't want to get serious in general, listen to him and start looking somewhere else: if you didn't change his mind about being single yet, you most likely won't in the future. Your biological clock should start kicking in pretty soon, and when that happens, you don't want to be pining after someone who doesn't want to be serious.

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