A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of 4 years has enlisted in the army and I am so worried that he's going to have to go overseas and fight! He enlisted without even telling me, he did it and THEN he told me, he never gave me a chance to tell him how I feel or to discuss it. I am so upset, both angry at him and worried because of the situation... I mean you hear about soldiers dying overseas all of the time, and I can't stand the idea of losing him or him being injured or traumatized by the experience. I can't imagine him coming back the same... war changes people, right, lots of veterans have serious physical and emotional problems because of what they see and do. I love him so much and I don't want to see him go through any of that sort of pain. Am I over analying this and worrying too much or do I have a right to be upset? He told me that it's his life and none of my business, I don't get a choice in his life which I guess would be true except that we've been building a life together and SHARING our lives with one another for FOUR YEARS now so I feel like I should have at least gotten some say in this decision? I wish he had sought my opinion on it instead of just doing it behind my back and then telling me... I feel like hes risking not only his life but our future together... I know I sound selfish... I guess I am being because it is HIS LIFE and I don't get to tell him what to do but wow... I mean... how do I deal with this? WHat's it like dating someone in the army? How do you deal with it? With the distance and the worry? How do you deal with the sexual frustration? I know thats probably the least of your worries when your man is out fighting but I do worry especially if hes away for a long time. ANd not just sex and orgasms but like... physical closeness, having him to cuddle and being able to smell him and all that. I know we're only young but I feel like he's a part of me and I dont know how I'll manage without him while he's gone or... heaven forbid... if he never came back... we've been fighting nonstop over this since he told me and I am very upset over it... I am not anti-military but I just love him and dont want to see him in danger.. I want him to be happy but... I want to be happy too! That's so selfish I know... I am worried we might break up over this... it's a lot to handle so any tips please?
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female
reader, thunderchild  +, writes (18 October 2008):
 I know how you feel chicken! My boyfriend is in the RAF and is in Iraq at the momentso that sucks...
Personally I have my on and off days, i miss being able to hold him and tell him i love him and being held too!
its funny but we both made an agreement to not "sort" our selves out we have to hold on till he comes back, it would make it more special that way... keeps me goin...
i do think he should have discussed this with you first but he didnt you now just have to support him, he'll be missin you and he prolly cant wait to come back to you!
i make a point of writing to him every couple of days, emailing (if he has access to a computer...) let him know you love him and you will be there when he comes home! think of it this way, hes out there having an awesome experience meeting new people and doing stange jobs, its not all fighting!
just remember not every one comes back emotionally or physically scared there are loads who don't just remember you only hear about the one that are!
A
female
reader, PoisonIvy +, writes (11 October 2008):
 Hey, dont be upset .. you just have to think positive! My boyfriend is in Iraq for 2 years already and its killing me .. and all i can do is pray to god he will be okay !!
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