A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I am in a serious dilema and I need all the help I can get. My brother in law loves me. I hate to say this but I am so in love with him. He tells me he loves me, he is the best uncle to my kids, he lives with my husband and I and my husband is gone a lot of the time, and when he is home, we either have nothing to say to each other, or we fight. I had a thing for my brother in law before i got married to my husand, and gave up on my brother in law cuz we had too much pride to tell eachother how we felt, and i ended up getting preganat (with my husbands child) and wanted to make things work for my son's sake, and now i feel like ive made such a mistake. I've been having an affair with my brother in law and cant stand to do this any longer cuz i love him so much. I hate to say this, but my husband feels so much like a friend that I cant get myself to even kiss him like i kiss my brother in law, and when my husband touches me I hate it cuz it feels so wrong. And it's felt so wrong even before i started getting involved with my brother in law. What the hell am I supposed to do? There are kids involved and I totally screwed up. It is more than killing me. I'm falling apart. This is more than tearing me apart, it's killing me. Should I call this off with my brother in law and keep living my life a lie for my kids' sake? Or should the truth be told? I cant break my husbands heart, for i love him so much, but as a brother, as a friend, as my childrens father.
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female
reader, crazykit666  +, writes (11 October 2008):
Yes, you do need to think about the future of your children- financially aswell as access etc. But as much as you need to think about the future of your children, what child wants to grow up in an unhappy environment? My parents split up when I was 6/7 and I can honestly say it was the best thing for them. My parents didn't argue but they just weren't right for each other. I was lucky, I now have two 'halves' to my family and it worked out nicer for me. Yeah I was upset as a child, but children do get over divorce, as do the parents. Don't feel it is your duty to stay in a unhappy relationship just to keep people happy. Hope this helps xx
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2008): The shit will hit the fan and the best thing, the right thing, to do now is to put your own feeligns out of your mind and do what is best for your children.Not what is best for you. Not what is best for your lover. Or your husband. But your children.Any desires you or your cohorts had is gone. Your lives must now be used to ensure the best possible future for your children.You owe them that after all of this.Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (10 October 2008):
 Yikes what a mess. First you need to completely stop the affair with the brother. Then you need to separate from your husband. Then you need to get a divorce. There is no need to tell your husband that you are in love with his brother but you need to tell him that you no longer want to be more than friends with him (your husband). Once the dust settles, and that may be a while, you can see whether a relationship with the brother is a possibility. If you behave with honor and integrity you will feel much better.
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A
female
reader, crazykit666 +, writes (10 October 2008):
I really really wish i knew the answer to this, I'm in pretty much the same situation myself. I have a 'lover' and a long-term partner. I love my partner to pieces and can't bear to break his heart, he has been nothing but good to me. I think when it comes down to it we both need to just think of our own long-term happiness. We both need to take that leap and forget worrying about hurting people (cuz people are going to get hurt and that is a thought i can't bear) I think we both need to act selflessly for a change. Easier said than done, eh? It is such a depressing situation. I don't know how i got here. If you want to talk, feel free to message me. xx
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A
female
reader, josien  +, writes (10 October 2008):
my dear i see your caught up between the two.
you have to think about what might happen when you open up about your feelings for you brother in law, think about the reaction of your husband, your children and family.
since you loved your brother in law even before you married your husband it shows that you were trying to make things work for the both of you. why do you feel you have to give that up.
gather your self and try to learn to love your husband for the good of your family.its hard but plz give it a try
good luck ma dear
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