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He's called it quit 4 times! How do I cope with this?

Tagged as: Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 November 2011) 5 Answers - (Newest, 21 November 2011)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

How should I deal with my partner who has called it quits for more than 4 times? How should I interpret the following said by my partner:"There are times when I don't feel like talking to anyone, including you"

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (21 November 2011):

CindyCares agony aunt Like the bullshit that it is.

90% of times this kind of declaration simply means " I don't feel like talking to YOU ". Or else "I AM feeling moody or tense , but you don't count enough for me to make a little effort and act civil / explain you / reassure you - I'll just come and go as I please and if you don't like it, tough luck ".

In the other 10% of cases they may really have severe mood swings or a depressive streak- and they'd better take care of that seeing a professional, rather than getting involved in relationships they are not fit to handle.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2011):

It sounds like he is confused and doesnt know what he wants.

What YOU need to do is really think about whether you want to stay with this, or whether it'd be better for you to move on.

I know it's hard, but do you want to be in a constant battle where this guy ends it, comes back, ends it again. I'm sure there are many others out there who will treat you much better.

Of course that said, if you are happy with this guy and happy going through the on again, off again relationship then stick in there!

But the fact that you have asked this question, makes me wonder why you continue in this relationship??

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (21 November 2011):

Honeypie agony aunt"There are times when I don't feel like talking to anyone, including you"

Meaning he needs space, from everyone. Maybe he is a little depressed?

If he keeps dumping you why you you stick it out? I honestly think he's got commitment issues or suffer from depression. However it's just a guess, since you really didn't offer much info.

How do you cope? You call him on his "bluff" and break up and stay broken up, find someone new.

Or you suck it up and suffer with him.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (21 November 2011):

aunt honesty agony auntExplain to him that he is either committed to you or else he is not. Explain that if he does it one more time well then that is the end and there is no going back, and stick to your word. He knows that he is getting away with it because you keep taking him back so he gets best of both worlds. Tell him this is his final chance and if he blows it well there is no going back. He is obviously afraid of commitment, but he needs to know that he will lose you for good if he does not change his ways.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (20 November 2011):

You cut that person out of your life. That's the one and only answer to this problem. It sounds like this man has some serious emotional issues, and you need to be away from someone who so readily throws you aside.

Someone like this is only worth dumping. Nothing else.

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