A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:my bf just wants sex al the time and it is getting very difficult for me/us to lead a normal social life. He used to be very caring and loving but he is like a different person now. He is pressuring me into stuff that i really not sure i want to do at the moment. but it is like if i dont do it he getts very angry and so i go along with it. i guess it normal for all guys to want to do things he is gr8 most of the time but it hurts sometimes when he is rough and im not sure if it is just a phase he is going through or what. i know he chats to his mates and i think it is maybe just a bragging thing between them or something. what can yu sugges please.Traci Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (12 December 2016):
 Sweetie he is beginning to control you. Ordering you flowers and telling you that you like nice is not romantic. It is just keeping you sweet. He should not be showing them intimate photos, that makes it clear to me that he does not care about you the way that he should. That is very disrespectful.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2016): OPhe asked some of his friends round last w/e and he showed them some pics he had taken of me. i confrometed him when they had gone and he just laughed and said it was just some fun. Today he is like more sorry and told me to forgive him as he got carried away. I love him as he help me some time back when I was in trouble and he is the only real bf i have ever known. He ordered some flowwers which came for me at work this morning and he can be v romantic when he wants to be. I dont have a place of my own and so just want an answer as to how i go about trying to make him understand me beter. Its his flat his car. He took me in, I have no where else, in sure in time it will al work out for the beter but i just feel empty inside sometimes . I guess we all do from time to time. His parents are so very nice to me and feel like part of my family. His sister is nice and we get along. His family is all I have really got. Plus he is always saying nice things and noticies when say I have done my hair differerntly or will tell me he likes the dress i am waring and stuff like that. He is really good inside, and likes my cooking. I cant afford to throw it all away. Traci
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A
female
reader, EnvyLawliet  +, writes (8 December 2016):
Sex is for both of you, if you don't want it, do not do it. I had a relationship like this when I was younger. The guy turned out to be a sex addict and it started just the same as yours. He ended up using physical threats- scary stuff to make me do it.Trust me. Leave, a man who thinks sex is everything is not a man worth loving. Sorry, but he must learn.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2016): Hello Traci, your boyfriend needs to be your ex.Maybe he thinks its time to groom you to do stuff before he gets you out there making money for him.Perhaps hes trying to get his stable together and is breaking you in!He is a useless boyfriend trying to use anger and force to get you to do stuff you dont want to do!And his friends who he brags with are lowlife too.Get out of this by dropping him.You are still young enough to keep your reputation in tact. Tell your own friends that he was alright at first but then he turned repulsive.Your vain boyfriend thinks he is so sexy that you will do anything he wants.Shatter his confidence by dropping him otherwise he will try to destroy you bit by bit to make money out of you.He will lie through his teeth and swear on his mothers life that he loves you and only you but that means he thinks he's in with a 70% chance he can break you and get you earning for him. The best thing you could do is to break up by text "Your sex is creepy and boring.I dont need to know you. Its over.You are dumped!" Its harsh but true. Then stay away from him and his friends.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (7 December 2016):
IT IS NOT normal for guys to use ANGER to pressure their GFs into doing things she doesn't really want to do.
What would I suggest? You START telling him NO if you don't WANT sex or do what he suggests if he gets mad - SHOW HIM the door.
What he is doing is what I'd call mental abuse, manipulation, and intimidation. NONE of those are OK in a relationship. IF you don't start putting your foot down he WILL take it further and further and you will be miserable.
I wouldn't date a guy like yours in a million years. He is not a keeper and while he might be nice... other times this is NOT OK. It's NOT a phase. IT's BLATANT disrespect of you.
Why you think you need to go along is just sad in my eyes. SO what if he gets mad? If he wants you to jump out of a moving car at 70 mph would you do it? What if he got mad if you didn't?
Honey, it IS OK for you to say no. IT IS OK to not always be in the mood and it's OK to NOT like rough sex.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (7 December 2016):
 Don't do *anything* you don't want to do. If he gets angry, leave. A good boyfriend will *never* pressure you into anything, nor will they get angry if you don't want to do something.
Most guys are not abusive jerks, but this one is. Please consider breaking up and finding someone who doesn't want to hurt you or force you into things.
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