A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i am currently with a man whom for 4yrs we have been going out as a couple. recently things aint been great due to the fact that he`s a selfish,self centered pig,and i love him. i am 99% sure hes having an affair,secret txts,silent phone calls,clicks over the computer page if i enter the room,wont leave his phone anywhere,i can get access to it,and watches me if i use it,hardly looks at me nowerdays always looking at other women an denies it,should i dump him now or wait for facts?
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female
reader, Barbara +, writes (27 June 2007):
Hi - I know how you feel. My husband carries his phone everywhere and won't even tell me the password for his laptop. He's secretive and its getting worse. I recently bought a voice recorder and discovered he was enjoying himself a lot by visiting porn sites - he left his computer unattended. We haven't had sex for about a year now. He enjoys himself without me - I wonder what else he is doing?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2007): I'm having similar problems with my husband. No sex between us for about 8 months. I've caught him lying before - he never owns up to anything. And get this he's acting like the hard done by one! He wants me to give him another chance but I'm suspicious as hell. Not relaxed with him at all. The internet has a lot to answer for too much other stimulation with the porn sites I caught him on. I feel despondent and can't believe a word that comes from his mouth.
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (27 June 2007):
 After all you have said i would definatly get rid of him rather than wait around for him to get rid of you when someone better (in his eyes) comes along.
God you can do so much better than this and no one deserves to be treated with such disrespect.
Take care.xx.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2007): If you leave him, i dare say you will soon build up suspicions with the next one you end up meeting. I say,let him know how you really feel,and let him dump you instead.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2007): You need to be honest with yourself, you list all these faults of his but you don't mention what is causing you to feel like this: You are insecure about the relationship and you don't trust him. You need to focus on that, the problem is you don't trust him and it is building resentment. Who knows if your partner is really cheating, certainly not us or anyone who doesn't know you. It sounds though that you urgently need to communicate with each other and do what it takes to sort out these trust issues that you have. I'm sure there used to be a point where you communicated with each other, you need to get back to that point so you can be open with each other again.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (27 June 2007):
 You just said he's a selfish, self centered pig, followed by....and I love him. That is what you need to figure out.
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (27 June 2007):
 If you are that doubtful about his faithfulness I would dump him. All the lack of trust will drive you crazy and madke you insecure. You said your self you're sure he's having an affair. xxxxx
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