A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been friends with this guy for over a year as we go to uni together. I am 22 and he is 18 turning 19 at the end of the year. We have kissed on a few occasions but nothing more and recently we have been getting closer and I have developed feelings for him. He comes over and we watch movies together and we cuddle and kiss a lot but maintain that we are best friends. I think he feels the same but I think that we both feel nothing more can come of this due to the age gap. Its weird because I am the girl and 3 years and 8 months older... I know that my family wouldn't like the idea and neither would anyone else at uni. I feel myself hating my age and being completely jealous of other girls who are 18. Is this age gap ridiculous at this stage and maybe it would be ok when we are both are in our 20's?? For some reason 20 and 23 doesn't sound so bad...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2012): I'm 21 and my bf is 19. It's not a big deal really! just go for it.
A
male
reader, Glacier  +, writes (29 April 2012):
When I was 22 I had a date with a barely 16 year old girl.
I was way too old for her, right? Wrong. This girl was surprisingly mature and a critical thinker, while I was a bit slow in growing up, like most men :-).
We would have been a good match. Unfortunately there were irreconcilable differences which were totally unrelated to age.
Don't worry about an age difference in itself.
If you guys *feel* you fit together than forget about what the outside world thinks of you, if they think anything negative at all.
You guys are both romantically involved and best friends which is ideal really. Did someone already told you to go for it?
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A
female
reader, maverick494  +, writes (29 April 2012):
I know what you're feeling, I had my pre-quarter life crisis too when I got the hots for a guy a few years younger than me ;-) It just makes you want to set your birthdate a few years ahead. That was, until I realized how ridiculous I was being.
3 years is no big deal. If you love the guy and he loves you, that's it. When you get older, that age gap is going to be very insignificant. What's rubbing you the wrong way is the "teen" still in his age. Well, one year from now that's going to be gone anyway, so why fuss. If it was more than 5 years at your age I would get you'd feel a bit weird about it, but it's just 3. Years aren't always the best measuring stick when it comes to compatibility. A friend of mine is 25 and dating a 20 year old guy. You don't see the age difference. Another one is thirty and just got married to her 25 y/o bf.
And I have to second what So_very_confused says: friends don't kiss and cuddle. Maybe he senses your unease with the age thing, but no way this guy wants to be 'just friends' with you. So go for it and don't give a damn what others think because you'll notice that others don't have a really strong opinion about that stuff.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (29 April 2012):
 best friends do not cuddle and kiss...
I'm 52 I am OLD right? yep my kids are older than you.
My fiance... 38... yes I am more than 13 YEARS older than my fiance... he is closer in age to my oldest son... and great chums with my other son who is 13 years YOUNGER than he is.
so the take is that as you age more and more age does not matter
3 years and change older means nothing.... you are both over 18 who cares what others think...
if he was the older one no one would say anything...
you are fine... GO FOR IT!
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