A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am 50 years old and I met a very nice man online dating. We went on two dates and he's done everything right. He is nice, has a good career and great kids. But there is no spark. It's so frustrating. He's asked me to go on a day trip this weekend but I just can't decide what to do. We have not kissed or even held hands. I feel the right thing is to just tell his me are not a match and be fair with him. Yet I'm afraid the guys I'm attracted to won't be this nice and I'm not getting any younger I know. Should I be this picky?My girlfriends tell me there's either chemistry or not and it's not negotiable. Any words of wisdom?
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male
reader, the_phoenic  +, writes (4 January 2011):
try to give it a try with him for a date or two
but if you didnt love him dont marry him
Good Luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2011): I would give a couple more dates and then decide, you never know and you can end up with a friend.
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (3 January 2011):
 I agree with the others, there's no reason not to be somewhat picky at any age. It's better than settling for someone just for the sake being in a relationship, which wouldn't be fair to either of you.
If the spark isn't there, it's not there. Sometimes it develops later on, but I think by the second or third date most people know whether they're attracted to someone or not.
Why not go on the trip? You won't be spending the night with him, and it'll be a good way to see if there's even a small chance a spark could develop. If after spending the entire day with him you don't feel anything, you can at least say you gave it a chance and things just didn't work out.
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A
male
reader, kenny + ♥, writes (3 January 2011):
 i think that just because you are 50 dosen't mean that you have to settle for just anyone, and being picky is just part of the dating game, no matter how old you are. Ok so you have been on two dates so far, why don't you go on a few more with him, and if there is still no spark there then tell him he is not a match for you, at least then you will be being upfront and honest about it. You said yourself he is a nice guy, so even if there is no spark, you have gained a friend out of it.
good luck
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A
female
reader, happy24birthday +, writes (3 January 2011):
 Wow I'm having this very same issue! I keep thinking something will click, but we haven't really been out on many dates... one with our kids and another really casual bit. I'm used to having an instant attraction and not waiting to see if it develops. I personally also think there's either chemistry or there's not, but I've never tried it this way, either. Can't wait to see what others say.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 January 2011):
 Well no matter what age you are it doesnt mean that you should just give up and settle for anyone. But in saying that you hardly know this guy and i think you should give him a chance and see if a spark develops sometimes it takes time and effort to get to know someone and for a spark to develop in a relationship.
Dont lead him on though, be open and honest with him and tell him that at the moment you dont feel the spark that should be there but that you are willing to get to know him more as a friend and see what happens.
Goodluck.
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