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Help! My jealousy and insecurities are out of control!

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 February 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 7 February 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, *rprincesa76 writes:

Ok so i've been dating my boyfriend for 9 months

when we first meet we rushed into it but it was amazing we planned getting married kids and everything we went on vacations it was just perfect until oct he broke up with me a week after our vacation to destin i was heart broken i was confused i didnt understand why he broke up with me he became totally cold and i was devastated cuz here u are thinking you found the one and everything is great and boom out of no where they leave u he had told my family we were getting engaged in may and everything so we broke up for 2 weeks i begged him the first week then i was like y am i begging him hes loosing out on a great girl a girl that devoted herself to him and thats wheni realized also that i had lost myself in the relationship everything was about him making him happy

2 weeks passed from when we broke up and he came back asking to be with me crying and everything i was crying to it was just a crazy emotional moment hes telling me he misses me he never wants to be without me that he broke up with me becuase it was stressful and we misunderstood and miss communicated but that he had done something when we broke up he slept with someone at our friends wedding well his friends but they were my friend through him . MY HEART DROPPED i gave him all my trust i never gave anyone my trust and he did this to me i didn't understand if he broke up with me to go sleep with someone else or what to believe we got back together i gave him a chance and everything's been fine but i find myself being very insecure and checking his phone and monitoring everything he does call him every time and its just not me i was the girl that never cared that never checked on a guy let him do what he wanted never was a girl that was jealous but the way that I've become i do not like

i find myself making up stories in my head when he doesn't call or when he does something my mind just wonders its like there's two of me the calm cool girl and the jealous one that when he doesn't reply or answers takes over (PLEASE DON'T THINK IM CRAZY ) cuz i know im not im just being totally hones and putting my feeling out there so someone and help me and give me some answers . With himive battled so many things like he has a gay friend thats like obsessed with him wrote me a letter basically talking down to him he has a mother that just didnt like me hes white im spanish figure it out

he has a baby with this women this women that he does not love at all one of those women that think by getting knocked up by a guy hell stay then my parents not liking him and just a bunch of stuff ive had to deal with luckily now his mom likes me my parents like him the mom of the child has warmed up to me but i just have this in security with him idk what to do

View related questions: broke up, engaged, got back together, insecure, jealous, wedding

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A male reader, jay12toes United States +, writes (7 February 2009):

jay12toes agony auntof course its not easy to trust someone that has betrayed you. if you feel like you cant ever trust him again, then you should end it now, trust is an important part of any relationship. but if you fell like maby one day you could trust him, then there is hope. he told you that he slept with another women, the fact that he told you is a good sign, it means he felt guilty, wich means he will likely not do it again, also it means that he dousnt want there to be any secrets between you two. if you really want this relationship, you could always try couples therepy. hope i helped.

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