A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A few months ago I went out with my cousin but after 2 months we broke up.Later a friend and i talked about him and expressed how i still loved him. She went on to tell him and he was so angry we had an agument and we really hated each other. Later on we discussed to minimize communication. But after a month we went for a date and started kissing. We kept on going on dates until now.Now at this point i moved away and he was so sad. We live miles apart.Though we werent going out i miss him so much that i dont want to watch any romantic moveis. and i dont want to lose him not at al... My Question is is that real love????????????
View related questions:
broke up, cousin, kissing Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2009): Is it real love? Who knows - it might be. The reality is that he's moved away and you're both upset about it, but if you have the strength of character to hold on to each other whilst apart, who knows what might happen in the future.
I have to agree with Anonymous below. In a few states of the US, cousin relationships are taboo and possibly against the law depending on where you live. However, the rest of the western world and most of the eastern world have no problem about cousins having relationships or even getting married. Some cultures prefer cousin marriages. The risk of birth defects in their offspring is vastly exaggerated, as in the posts below, and is scaremongering to a most uneducated degree.
Anyone who thinks otherwise should have a good look around this site and educate themselves with a few facts:
http://www.cousincouples.com/
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2009): Oh crap. Cousin relationships are not wrong or illegal or not incest. Do some home work first. Bla
...............................
A
female
reader, saoirse +, writes (3 February 2009):
Relationships are difficult, but I'm really having a hard time gauging the nature of yours. Is this a blood cousin, or a cousin by marriage? Is this someone you've known your entire life, or is it someone who's just recently been brought into your family. How did it get to a point where you were both comfortably dating each other, and does your family know about this?
Just as the saying goes "don't mix business and family", the same is true about relationships. Whether you're dating your cousin, or your sisters boyfriend, or a person who is just good friends with the rest of the family it is bound to get messy when things end.
If this is your biological cousin, and someone you've grown up with, it isn't uncommon for people to develop 'feelings' for cousins or family who are close to them, especially if there is a lot of connection, and you have many things in common. However, if you are blood, there are more than just moral and legal reasons that it's not a good idea for you guys to be involved. First of all, you're relationship and the ending of it will make things very awkward all around for the family. At events and reunions, it will be painful for you to have to see him, and the familial connections will be put in a weird position between the two of you. Secondly, if you were to accidentally pro-create, your child could end up having a lot of birth defects that are undesirable and potentially fatal.
If this is a cousin who is simply a cousin by marriage you still have a lot of the same problems, just without the birth defects. You both are still creating a hostile environment for the rest of your family and creating an emotionally precarious situation.
I would be willing to say that you do have feelings for him, but I think it may be more of an infatuation for the concept of your cousin than a type of love that a lasting relationship can be built on. I think you would be doing the best thing for yourself, if you cut off communication between the two of you for a while, and tried your hardest to move on with someone new -- and unrelated.
Good luck,
S.
...............................
A
male
reader, ArmyMedic  +, writes (3 February 2009):
 Is that duelling banjo's I hear?It's so common for cousins to "fall in love" You are family so you have a close bond, I personally think in breeding is a bad thing and can cause problems with the family. You may been in love with him, but consider it forbidden love and get over him. It would be more trouble than it's worth in the long run.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2009): umm, you're a hillbilly! Why get wit your cousin?! that's so wrong! By law it's called insest! is he your first cousin? there's a law with that, but maybe third cousin is ok. Second is kinda iffy.
...............................
A
female
reader, Mels  +, writes (3 February 2009):
Only you know the answer to this one: love can express itself in so many different ways...
Look in your heart and listen to it.
Good luck
...............................
|
