A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need serious help. I have been with this guy for almost 2 years. I love him, but Im not in love with him I dont think. Hes like in love with me though. We're like best friends and he's always been perfect. But With my ex I got butterflies and I was always smiling. we did argue a lot though. we were together for 3 years on and off. He just gave me this all around good feeling. Anyways, we moved away from each other. Now we are back in touch and feelings are stronger than ever. My current bf is great and I know my life with him would be good. He spoils me. But I cant stop thinking about my ex. Although my ex lives 6 hours away, he said he would move up here next summer when he could to be with me. But I dont know how things with him would end up. I know Im young but I dont want to look back and regret things. So should I risk losing my current boyfriend to pursue my ex? And how do you know what true love is? Can you explain that for me? One last thing, if I should go for my ex how do I go about breaking up with my current boyfriend without hurting him too much? Thank you.
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male
reader, redsox29 +, writes (16 December 2009):
Thanks for the extra info. I really think that if you feel like your relationship hasn't run its course and you feel like there are still feelings there, you should go with your heart.
I do feel for the current guy, it's very difficult to love someone and they not love you back, I should know I am going through it right now, but it's better to find out then go through a relationship not being loved back.
Good luck and whatever you do, make sure you don't have any regrets.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all so much. But to answer your question redsox 29, Me and my ex broke up when we were young over small stuff. For example, one time he laughed at me when I fell. We dated from about 13-16. The last time we broke up though, it was because we both had to move.
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A
male
reader, ????RB????  +, writes (12 December 2009):
your current boyfriend sounds nice and you get along with him, what does me have that your ex doesnt! i dont like your ex from the minor description you gave. if you marry this ex boy friend you will argue and split up and if you have kids dont put them through this i am 13 dont say i he is just a kid i know alot about this stuff. stick with your boyfriend spend more time with him maybe you will fall in love will him, your ex has had his chance!
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A
male
reader, Advice_man +, writes (12 December 2009):
 I don't know how good idea is to go back with your ex, because other than you feel butterflies for him, you don't really describe what type of a person he is. What I do know is that it's not right to remain in a relationship only because your boyfriend is always there for you, you feel security and he spoils you and loves you...keep in mind that half of happiness is GIVING, and you cannot give him the basic ingredients of a healthy relationship- love, passion and care- (ok, you probably love and care for him as a brother but that's not good enough in a relationship). Over time you will be more bored and trapped into this relationship. Best of luck!
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A
male
reader, redsox29 +, writes (12 December 2009):
You're going to hurt your current bf no matter what. There isn't anything you can do about that.Why did you and your ex break up? Be careful that you don't dwell on just the "good parts" of the old relationship, it's a trap and you forget reasons why it didn't work out the first time around.I've always believed that if there was a good enough reason to break up the first time, there is always a good enough reason to stay broken up. There is no "do-overs" in dating.You need to talk to your current guy and tell him your concerns and he'll need to deal with it. There is nothing more important in a relationship as communication.No matter what I've already said, don't just listen to me, you need to follow your heart and let that guide you so you don't have any regrets.
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