A
female
age
26-29,
*iakef
writes:ok so my partner say we are dealing but not girlfriend and boyfriend. I tried talking to him about this, he says he cannot deal with the girlfriend/boyfriend thing but i get dealt with, sort out and treated better than anyoneelse but i still have doubts. I get scared that he isn't fully committed to me. His friend that he is really close to, i am not threatened by her anymore but the problem is that i wish i knew what his problem was. When i ask if the difference between me and him dealing and being a boyfriend and girlfriend meant we don't have to live up to committments like boyfriends and girlfriends do all he says is we are dealing. I asked him if its still a relationship and he says we dealing which i got mad and told him that it was just like my friend said n he almost always proved people right about him. I shouldn't have done that, he got mad cuz i said he was just like she said. But he annoys me.In the past he came to me crying and crying isn't something he does. When i tried soothing him he asked me a strange question "what's wrong with me?" and i was dumbfounded as to what to do to make it ok. When he left he hugged me and told me thanks for always being there and after i noticed a change in his behavior, he went on about how girls were wicked and so on and i deduced it was a girl prob at that time. What are your thoughts? Why is he being like this towards me in terms of saying he dealing with me and not being my boyfriend? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (7 July 2014):
 He wants to get all the benefits from you that a proper relationship should have (emotional support, sex, companionship), but he wants to do this no strings attached. This means he is free to "deal" with other women as well. I would not be able to handle an arrangement like this. Don't waste your time waiting for him to change his mind. He's using you until he finds another woman that he wants a commitment with. Start dating other guys sweetheart. There are other men who would treat you much better than this and who wants to be in a committed relationship.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2014): What is "dealing"? It's a only a term that I've ever heard of in the context of selling drugs.
From your post it sounds like "dating" or possibly "friends-with-benefits" situation where sexual activity is also involved.
But the guy has said that he doesn't want committment. He has stated that this is not a relationship and that you two are "just dealing".
If you want a relationship, then you'll have to back away. He won't just change his mind. He doesn't want to commit to you but he's happy to keep dealing. He probably wants to be able to deal with lots of other girls too
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