A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear all, Yesterday I was really shocked and I thought of sharing it with you, maybe I'm wrong? I'm 23 years old. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now and we're planning to get engaged by year end. My boyfriend joined the military and this means he's away from sight for days or weeks. This time he left 2 weeks ago. He returned yesterday. He was strange. He didn't even call me when he returned and didn't even show he missed me at all. He was talking emotionless and in a very formal way. Does this mean he no longer cares?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2007): Yes it is very strange that he didn't call you upon his return as he usually does, and that he has been acting distant towards you. I mean assuming you guys had not been arguing before he left and everything was fine. Right?
Well in that case, the only thing that comes to my mind is that he did something in his time away, that he does not want you to know about, that he is not proud of, and he does not know how to face you right now, because of his own guilt. That is why he didn't call you (cause he doesn't know what to say) and that is why he is acting distant (because he doesn't want to be fake and lie to you and say he missed you and loves you when he was out doing something that proves neither.)
He is scared and guilty right now. If I were you, I would confront him on the subject, but be calm and unconfrontational. Don't be accusative. Just ask him IN PERSON so that you can look at his eyes and see his expressions. And don't tell him that you feel like he is being distant or anything like that. When you ask him, catch him OFFGUARD, when he is not expecting it. Cause if you start talking about other stuff first, he is going to be ready for the question and will have enought time to think about an excuse to say.
A
female
reader, auntyluuurve  +, writes (16 August 2007):
 he has possibly realised while he was away that he has other priorities. sometimes people change and that means they change their feelings. the only way you can tell if he still wants to be with u is if u tell him that u need space because he is acting strangely with u and if he agrees to have some space and is back to normal afterwards, its fine. if he rejects the idea of having space and apologises, fine. if he rejects space and dumps u, then u may have just done his dirty work for him. also, remember if u are thinking of marrying this guy, then do u really want to put up with someone who just acts strange sometimes? doesnt sound like real love to me.
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A
female
reader, LethalInjection-x +, writes (16 August 2007):
 Possibly not, in the field he's in, could he be around any deaths? If so, maybe he witnessed one? Or heard about it? It could be upsetting him. OR, if there was a death, maybe he's trying to cut himself off emotionally a little bit incase of the worst?If he's not exposed to the above, maybe there's something on his mind.The best answer you could get is from him, so you should talk to him about it, ask why he's distant?xx
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