A
female
age
41-50,
*onfusedme1982
writes:we been together for almost close to 4 years now, my bf and me have an off and on relationship. we broke up many times and back together. for this past months, we been in a rocky life. we fought and we were then ok after patching up things. and usually i am the one making a move to patch things up, because i dont want any problem between us, and everytime we are fighting, it is just easy for him to threat me of leaving me and end our relationship but i dont want, so i have to blame myself of everything. last two weeks ago, i saw a picture of a girl on his mobile, and quick to his defense he told it was his brother's girl, but why it is on his mobile? his brother using the phone. but it was dated last jan, where in time we were fighting, i dont want to doubt, he's trying to make me believed it wasnt for him. and then the fighting start for almost a week now. he is a muslim and i am christian, for 4 years, i havent met his mom or dad or sister. only his brother in law and brother.i know he will not marry me, but i am willing to stay for him even not married. i love him too much that everyday of my life is him. i am not in my own country, i am working here in dubai, alone from my family. and thats i become dependent on him. we are happy if not fighting. i am there for him all his problems. we have communication. but once we are fighting, he just left me whatever he wants, and talk to me after how many days, not answering my calls.i know i been stupid and blind. but yesterday, i was asking him if i can see him, but he said he got somebody to see him, the man whom he been with everyday. and that i felt so bad, i told him that, and he got mad. and telling me i am pressuring him, but where is the pressrue there? and then i said sorry again. because i dont want the fight to be long. but he goes, telling me, he regretted he came back to me, regretting he have relationhsip with me, and he wants me to leave him...i know i am being stupid, but i am asking my self. for all my life with him, i am there, whenever he wants me to help him, i do anything. even it costs me my job, i have done lots of things. why? he only see the things now that he thinks i am making him suffer. he told me on the phone, i am making him miserable... i wanted to shout back, for all the times he making me miserable, for treating me bad, for keeping me from his family. but i am forgiving him. i am ending up accepting the fault even its not mine, just to stop fighting. and now he wants me to let him go. and i am hurt so bad, i am so weak. i dont know what will happen for the coming days, all my life for 4 years are with him, he became my life. i love him, i love him so much. what will i do? please i need your help, i really need your help.
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female
reader, confusedme1982 +, writes (30 March 2010):
confusedme1982 is verified as being by the original poster of the question i know i made some mistakes too, but those mistakes i had to work hard to get his forgiveness, only small mistakes from me, he made it so big deal and threaten everytime, that he will leave. i know i been stupid enough. he loves me but not enough and i dont know. really dont know. i am in pain. really in pain. that everything is affecting me, my work, my health, even my mom now is worried when she heard am crying on the phone, but i dont want to tell her, i want to spare her from my heartache.
A
female
reader, lavalass  +, writes (29 March 2010):
 sister,it's plain for you to see,we dont have to spell it out for you...he dont love you!!!!!! and i know tht you already know ths.yes it's hard to let go,but think about it,do you like being hurt? do you like how he treats you like dirt? and ths is how he'll continue treating you if you keep allowing him back in your life.(can i use obscene language?)he's a f..ing dog..kick his arse tuh the curb,thn start your healing process,you don't need his trifling arse,you could do a whole lot better.we women are strong by nature,do not allow ths man to bring you down so..try your best to leave him alone,in the long run you'll be better for it,trust me..do not let ths man wield so much influence over your life,he's messing wth your good heart and your happiness,drop him like a hot potato..DO NOT CALL HIM BACK,RESPECT YOURSELF!!!
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