A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have met a great guy and we have been dating for a while now. The next step on the cards for us is sex but im terrified of him seeing me naked. See I used to be extremely over weight and I lost it all naturally a few years ago but my body still shows the scars. I guess with my clothes on I look like an ok shape but underneath im not completely toned, I still have wobbly bits and I have some silvery stretch marks. I had serious self confidence issues when I was big and I still have them now. Im still very shy and self conscious. I guess I still view myself as a big girl.now this guy sees me differently. I physically don't understand why but he sees me as this amazing looking person and he thinks im way out of his league (his words not mine). These compliments make me uncomfortable as he sees me as something im not. It took me a long time to trust and believe he was genuine, I used to think it wS some big joke he was playing on me. I want to be with him intimately but hes built me up in his head to have a supermodel body and that the sex is going to be incredible. He knows ive got self confidence issues, he knows about my past yet he still goes on about how incredible it will be to be naked and close to me.What do I do? Im going to be a massive let down and disappointment to him. Ive told him clothes hide a multitude of sins but he doesn't believe me. I don't understand why he thinks im going to be so amazing when I wont be. I feel sick at the thought of seeing me and seeing the disappointment on his face.
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confidence, shy, stretch marks Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (24 November 2013):
 Once to lights go out... EVERY girl is blisterin' hot... and YOU are one of them.. ... WHAT is your question?????
A
female
reader, shna  +, writes (24 November 2013):
 Have you had sex before?
I know its hard when you have self confidence issues and unfortunatly the solution to your problem is that CONFIDENCE !! Theres so many things that can help with the slight imperfections of your body that you think are there that will help you out a bit !!
GET A SPRAY TAN ! Now im not advising you go orange but get a spray with a bit of colour
Its proven that with tan it will actuall make you look thinner & feel thinner plus it will let your stomach ass and legs look more toned then they actually are ( i used fake tan for years and always felt more confident using it because it made me look more small and lean compared to when i didnt have any on !!
Once you get your tan have a look in the mirror NAKED
For once dont focus on the negatives on your body look at the positives and what you have a achieved you might not think your body is perfect but its 10x better then what is use to be in your opinion ! Before the big night shower , shave those legs with some baby oil for extra smooth touch do your hair up all pretty, nails, make sure to moisturise :) and natural make up !go out and buy some sexy laudray but make sure its something your also going to be comfortable in !! Im telling you make the effort to look pretty you will feel it too & you have all the exciting butterflies to deal with aswell !! Give me a private message if you need anything here to help !!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2013): 1... Why don't you start slow? Light a few candles or leave a door propensity the light outside on but the bedroom one off.
2... People can say things 1000s of Times but you are the one who needs to see it. Maybe this guy whom I'm guarding you genuinely care could be the one to help you. Start slow and see how is goes. And if he doesn't like what he sees then he was not the man you thought he was and should get rid. I will knock your alread low confidential and that can the rebuilt. Xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2013): I know how you feel. I lost quite a bite of weight myself and I have stretch marks left on my upper arms, legs, belly and breast. I was and still am a bit conscious about my breast, they could be firmer etc. But it is me, no man has ever said something about the stretch marks or wobbly bits. either they don't mind or they don't see it. You've done something remarkable and those are your battle scars. The only thing I can tell you, is that you have to jump in, just be intimate with this guy, I am certain, that he won't mind and after that experience your self esteem will rise.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (24 November 2013):
I wouldn't give a shit about what he thinks. Neither should you. If it turns out he's built up unrealistic images of some super body in his head, then that's HIS problem. Not mine, not yours, not anyone elses. If he's an idiot that will run around and be "disappointed" when he gets in bed with the woman he supposedly is in love with, then he gets the boot. Got it? He'd be a total idiot and not worth keeping.
HIS expectations say NOTHING about you, and just says a lot about HIM. Get it? If he is disappointed then I'm sorry for HIS sake, because that would mean he is a very dumb man.
Now, are you running around thinking he has a six pack and awesome pecks and a penis that will ruin you for other men? No? In all likelihood, he doesn't have that standard for you either and has a realistic view on life and the female body.
Try to enjoy things instead. Often we're so afraid to be happy that we don't allow ourselves to experience it.
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