A
female
age
51-59,
*hygirl45
writes:I met a man on a dating site, we have been dating a little over a month. I really like him and he said he really likes me too. He brought up deleting our accounts, I deleting mine, he said he can't figure out how to delete his. He said he is not looking for anyone but still goes on site everyday. He said he has friends and just checks is mail. Also he text me more than he calls me and is usually late, said he has been busy or fell asleep. Am I being played?
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female
reader, shygirl45 +, writes (15 January 2011):
shygirl45 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (14 January 2011):
 If you have to ask you know the answer right?yeah it sounds like you are.recreate your account... he's not a keeper IMO
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A
female
reader, shygirl45 +, writes (14 January 2011):
shygirl45 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your comments. I agree with all of them
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A
female
reader, shygirl45 +, writes (14 January 2011):
shygirl45 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your answers. I have told him how to delete his account, he's not stupid. I think he is keeping is options open for maybe something better.
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A
female
reader, Blonde68  +, writes (14 January 2011):
The problem with dating sites, is that it can get addictive for both men and women and continue to log on despite having met someone. Why? I don't know. When it has happened to me before now, I can only assume it is in case they miss out on something better.
Perhaps once you meet face to face he may be different, and realise that he is fond of you and won't go on the site again. However, at the moment, you are just another number, he is chatting to you and the other females.
He says he doesn't know how to delete his account - well offer to take him through the process (I assume he knows you have deleted yours)? If he doesn't accept your offer, then I think its then that you will realise that he actually doesn't want to. I would also suggest that you meet up, obviously in a public place, and let someone know where you are going etc... if he isn't keen on that either, then I would put your profile back on and don't waste anymore of your time on him.
My gut feeling is, he just loves chatting to lots of different women, gets a kick out of all the attention and has no intention of deleting his account. Sorry!
Good luck!!
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A
female
reader, bernergirl +, writes (14 January 2011):
 I have to tell you, this has happened to me, he ran to the store and I in to go get his IPDO and pretended I was looking for passwords. Sure enough....bingo! My worst fears were sitting with me trust your instincts and tell him to go get the car fixed then I snooped! Do what makes you feel better,take all the stuff he gave you pack it up and leave
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (14 January 2011):
 Red flags. He may have not figured out how to delete the account, but he could simply avoid logging in. Supposedly he is only talking to friends ( on a dating site ? ), but he could have very easily told his friends he's leaving the site and that he can be contacted at such and such e-mail account.
Time for a talk . A month is not a long time and he can be justified if he does not feel ready for being exclusive- then again he asked you to delete your account and it's only fair he'd do the same for you.
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A
female
reader, shygirl45 +, writes (14 January 2011):
shygirl45 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you. I thought the same thing, I he really liked me and wants a relationship he would have no reason to log in.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2011): Yes you're being played with a double standard. He got you to delete your account and then did not delete his. I don't believe for a second he can't figure out how to do that! I would let him know that you and he don't want the same thing obviously since he is still using his account and move on to someone who wants what you want.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2011): I ran into the same situation with a man on a dating site, except we'd been dating three months when this occurred. After us "hinting" around at it, or mentioning it casually, I finally had to sit him down and be forthright and ask simply if he saw it going in an exclusive direction, explaining that I wasn't in a hurry, but that it made me uncomfortable that he checked his account still. He explained that he didn't see it going in that direction, which was fine because it made things clear. If you're up front and honest, and ask your questions plainly without making him feel cornered, judged or attacked, you'll get the answers you need! But beware of men who want to have their cake and eat it, too. If he really felt strongly for you, he'd have zero reason to be logging on.
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