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He sent flowers and a bear from overseas, but I am not happy coz they arrived at night after I waited all day for a call.

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Question - (25 March 2010) 10 Answers - (Newest, 26 March 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

hey everyone!

okay,so it was my birthday a week back and my best friend stays in another country. He sent me flowers that reached me the evening of my birthday and a cute bunny bear that said I love you.

But throughout the day,I was waiting for a call or a text from him,wishing me..he did neither. Then I get these flowers,and the gift with a card from him and his girlfriend(who hates me,by the way)..

I don't know but I feel pretty bad- I didn't want flowers or anything else-just a phone call from him wishing me happy birthday.

Am I overreacting?

View related questions: best friend, flowers, I love you, text

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (26 March 2010):

Miamine agony auntI understand... you miss him and he's far away, you were looking forward to hearing his voice. But he has his girlfriend, you have your boyfriend, he lives far away, things are changing. This is the way life goes, our friends move, they get busy, but they always love you, just don't get the chance to show it at the right time or in the right way like they used to. :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks everyone for your replies..really :)

And yes, we both have been busy lately, but no matter- I guess,actions speak louder than words :)

No, he doesn't like me like that-it's not like that between us for sure :D

I am lucky to get someone like him who loves me so very much..we were just talking and he said he wanted to do something that no one has never done,to make this day memorable- he said everyone wished you-I won't, that's why I did this.

Trust me- even I have not gotten flowers on my birthday from my bestie before and yeah..basically I didn't know how to react- be angry he put his relation in risk or be flattered or what..this puts things into perspective..plus we could never fight more than a week..LOL

Thanks for taking time out to read this :)

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (25 March 2010):

Aunty BimBim agony auntThankyou for your followup, however my original response remains unchanged.

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (25 March 2010):

TasteofIndia agony auntI read your reply and even with all of that, I still think that you're overreacting. Clearly, your best friend thought of you and wanted to let you know he remembered and thought of you. Maybe he didn't call because he was busy, it was expensive, or he figured you would be busy. It doesn't matter, because it's not as if he forgot. He put real effort into letting you know that he recognized your special day and what a sweetheart for sending you flowers!! I've never gotten flowers on my birthday, lucky girl.

I don't think he was behaving "harshly" at all. He actually went above and beyond, if you ask me. Flowers and a bear is extremely thoughtful. And, clearly his girlfriend is trying to be nice or warm up to you if she had a hand in this.

Don't make this more than it is. Be happy that you've got a good friend who cared enough to send you something.

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A female reader, EbonyBlossom United Kingdom +, writes (25 March 2010):

EbonyBlossom agony auntMaybe he was trying to tell you something. It's a long shot but maybe it was his way of saying "Actually I like you as more than a friend." Could explain why the teddy bear said I Love You and he didn't text - either he was too afraid to talk to you or just wanted to make a more lasting impression on you. But like I said it's a longshot.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks a lot for all your answers, I think you might have misunderstood- I didn't want anything,from him..i just thought a call would be sufficient if he had to wish me. I didnt want him to put himself in all those problems for my sake. I have repeatedly tried to be friends with his gf, so that we could hang out together. I am not jealous at all.

I just thought everyone but my best friend wishing me was kinda harsh...

we talk everyday, have a great friendship, AND I Do have a boyfriend- who knows and thinks it was weird he didn't wish me.

I repeat- I did NOT want flowers or anything from him...It didn't even feel right,cuz i felt it wasnt fair to his gf..only a text or a phone call.

This was just to further qualify the question,i guess

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (25 March 2010):

Miamine agony auntYES you are. He's obviously busy, he didn't forget you, he took the time to send you something nice. His girlfriend is in his life, that's the reality. He's only a friend, and he owes you nothing. Grow up young lady, friends that take any time on you at all are very special. I think your jealous, perhaps you should try to find a partner of your own, or get a hobby or something to interest you, then you won't have time to wait all day to see if someone remembers you.

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (25 March 2010):

Aunty BimBim agony auntyou are over reacting

you dont like his girlfriend huh so what, suck it up sistah, have you considered they, him and his girlfriend, may not have had any control over when you received your gift??

I am glad you are not my friend .... I would wear myself out jumping through hoops for you only to have you complain the hoops weren't rings of fire

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (25 March 2010):

Fatherly Advice agony auntSome people would complain if you hung them with a brand new rope.

Your best friend, who has a committed girl friend, goes the extra mile to do something nice for you, probably with her guidance. He doesn't want to spoil the surprise so he holds off calling you. He does all this at risk to his committed relationship. And, It's just not enough for you.

Search your feelings. If he is really your best friend, you will want the most happiness for him. You will never compete with his girlfriend for his attention. You will be able to see things from his point of view as well as from your own.

FA

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A female reader, EbonyBlossom United Kingdom +, writes (25 March 2010):

EbonyBlossom agony auntYES!!!

He made a real effort to make you happy on your birthday. He even got his girlfriend to sign the card! Maybe he didn't text you or call you because of the cost from another country or the time difference.

If he'd forgotten, then you should be disappointed. But he didn't did he =]

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