A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone, i need help. I am totally perplexed in this relationship of two years with this guy.He says that he loves me. I know that very well. I love him too. But i think, may be he loves me too much, far beyond my imagination.He is a nice guy but recently his behaviour towards me, has changed a lot. He says that his love is so pure, he cannot even imagine me as 'naked'. He respects me too much. Its good, he respects me. But i satisfy his every need, why cant he then satisfy my needs. He doesnt reciprocate at all.And, at the same time he contradicts himself, whenever we are together, he tries to kiss me. I dont let him do because i am stressed at his behaviour. He says that he cannot express his emotions as clearly as i do. But the thing that bugs me is, should i let him touch me when he wants, knowing the truth he cannot even imagine me naked.? This hurts me. I feel i am not enough for him or something is wrong with me. Please show me some insight on it. Thanks. :) Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2011): Hey i am the OP of this question. Thanx a lot everyone. :) you guys have really helped me a lot. And i was talking about sexual needs. Earlier we have kissed but after listening to such comment, i dont want him to touch me. Its really weird that he contradicts himself. I am still not clear whether i should trust him or not. Thank you so much. :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2011): Hey i am the OP of this question. Thanx a lot everyone. :) you guys have really helped me a lot. And i was talking about sexual needs. Earlier we have kissed but after listening to such comment, i dont want him to touch me. Its really weird that he contradicts himself. I am still not clear whether i should trust him or not. Thank you so much. :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2011): Often when men think of a woman as being an angel or so perfect that they don't want to spoil her - in this case by imagining you naked - they have another side to them, in which other women are the devil, or to be spoiled.If I were you I would check that he is not merely keeping you in mind for the dutiful 'wife' figure, whilst you slowly go out of your mind wanting a normal sexual relationship.I think this is a bit like when a man ends a relationship by saying "you are just too good for me" - it means that you can't blame them for anything and is an easy way for them to avoid any real discussion. By saying his love for you is so pure that he can't even imgagine you naked, he may as well be saying I am not really emotionally equipped for a normal relationship but if I tell you I love you so purely then you can't get angry at me" See where I'm coming from with this?
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2011): I'm going to go ahead and guess that you want a physically relationship with this guy, but he worships you too much. This is not the guy for you. He can not be a man about your situation. He truely doesn't know how to please you then. Leave him. You guys aren't compatible in the most significant of areas when it comes to love. You need to find someone who matches you in this aspect and there probably are a lot better guys than this dude who can please you better.
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A
male
reader, rolfen  +, writes (14 October 2011):
 Let him kiss you and his love will not be so pure anymore.
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (14 October 2011):
 It sounds like he has this idea of love for you but has no idea as to what he should to satisfy your concept of what love is. You can have respect for a person and still find them sexually attractive and imagine things about them. You say you satisfy him, does that mean sexually while he does not reciprocate.
I question if he is just trying to get out of doing things for you by using some poetic language. The love is great, but love is more then just words. You should explain that to him that you need the emotion and physical gestures of love to be there as well. If he is not interested in this then you two might not be on the same page as to what you want out of this relationship.
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A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (14 October 2011):
 Well some people actually feel like imagining other people naked is somehow a violation of their being. My current partner feels this way and the way we got around it was for me to "consent" to his fantasizing about me. My guess is it's not an issue of not finding your beautiful enough, it truly is just a matter of respect.I think ChiGirl is right too about worshipping and putting you on a pedestal.I'm a little unclear on what you mean by satisfying needs, do you mean sexual, emotional, etc...?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2011): Hey thanx chigirl :)
Actually, thats what i am not able to understand. If he cant imagine me naked, then why would he touch or kiss me.?
Secondly, i am not waiting for marriage as such, but i dont want him to touch me now just because of this comment that he cant imagine me naked. I have talked about this matter to him but instead of understanding my emotions, he starts telling me how he love to be naked in bed with me. I think out of fear of leaving him, he doesnt want to disappoint me at the same time. Thus, he is making it more complicated.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2011): Are you sure he is straight?
I don't mean this in an offensive way, but if you have been together with this man for two years and you haven't done anything sexual, then there's something weird going on...
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 October 2011):
 I don't understand. If eh can't imagine you naked, ok fair enough, but why does he want to touch you and kiss you? And, if you want him to, why do you not let him? Is it because of wanting to be married first? What needs do you want him to satisfy?
I think this man has ended up worshipping you rather than loving you, to some extent. It might pass in time, it may get worse, who knows. Just try to sort out the practical aspect of it and then see how it goes. If it becomes a problem then talk to him about it to see if you can understand him more.
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