A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hey my ex broke up with me 5 months ago .. we basiaclly never see each other or have contact at all the two times ive seen him something has happenened despite him saying hes over me and hes moved on.on chrissy eve i saw him at the bar and he was drinking .. this was our first confrontation .. we startied talking and flirting and stuff like we used to do in our relationship.. he even pecked me a few times and and couldnt keep his hands off me . the other day his mum came and brought me the rest of my clothes which i thought was a bit soft bcause he couldnt face me .. i asked his mum if she hated me she didnt think he did .. anyways on sat at 100 in the morning he txt me asking y i think he hates me .. so i said y i think and i said i thought my friendship ws worth somethin .. he said it was and he said i need time to get over him more .. we were talking on facebook for ages and he satrted asking really weird qns and asking how many guys ive been with latly and stuff like that . .he said he wanted sex but with no strings attached i said yea cos i still love and want him back him but he knew i still love him heaps but at the start of the covo he didnt wanna be mates yet cos i still had feelings but y would he want a shag off me does he still have feelings .. i dont get him .. he says hes over me but im not convinced .. he told me to tell no one cos it was just 4 fun .. wat do u think ????
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male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (10 February 2009):
 He doesnt sound like he is struggling with any conflicting emotions at all. He knows what he wants and in his own way he has laid it on the line for you...bunny has also laid in on the line in a much less subtle fashion. There is nothing in this guys behaviour to suggest he cares about you as much more than a lay. Flip your question round; if he cares about you as more than that then why wont he be mates with you? Why does he want no one knowing?? I rather suspect given the email you sent me that there is another person involved and here I disagree with Bunny, I think his motivations for that are not wanting it to get back to them...
I'm sorry if we are being hard but I really do think you are reading what you want too in his behaviour...good luck :)x
A
female
reader, bunnygogo +, writes (10 February 2009):
You poor used and abused little thing. He doesnt respect you in the slightest. He just wants to get a shag off you. You dont mean anything more to him than just sex, and the fact he doesnt want anyone to know, is because he is embarrased/ashamed of you! You seriously need to dump this disrespectful loser and knock him down by telling him how much better you can do, and you can, and you will.! Good luck, even regular sex buddies treat their partners better than this guy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhow could he have moved on if hes sill being like that towards me im stuggling to understand that lol
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (10 February 2009):
My first immediate question is why the break-up which it seems he initiated??
I think to be honest with this one there is a danger of reading the signs the way you want too. Too take the last thing first, wanting NSA sex is not always a sign of still having feelings. He might see it as easy sex since you do have past involvement, for example. I wouldnt take this route especially as he is not even prepared to offer you friendship. This attitude on his part says to me he wants everything on his own terms and going along with it is going to be bad for you and it doesnt cast this offer in a particulalry positive light.
It seems to me from what you are saying he has clearly decided this is over. Flirting with you at the bar indicates no more than a sexual interest (which indeed could be genuine) and asking about the guys to me could equally just be normal guy possessiveness. I think you have to be really careful on this one...all the signs are that he has decided the relationship is over and he has moved on. Good luck :)x
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