A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi Everyone - I was in a relationship with a guy for a month he had been chasing me for 4 months but i wasnt sure as didnt think a guy could like me that much....!! We started seeing each other and would make sure to meet me 2 or 3 times a week and was really nice to me but he finished with me recently and said he was not ready for anything serious at the moment and said he really enjoyed our time together and wishes that he was over his ex..and he said if it was a few months down the line it could have been different that it was bad timing, that he would love to be over his ex.. She called it off with him about 8 months ago as there was family death and she couldnt cope with having a boyfriend after that. I realised after he said this that i really liked him and that i have never meet anyone like him even after a month as we got to know each other very well and got close. I said i would see him around and he said of course we will meet out, and he might even buy me a drink. I would like your advice on what to do and what he is feeling?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (27 July 2007):
 I want to be careful with this one. I know our advice is taken seriously, and I would hate to make mistakes with any agony nieces or nephews.
I'm not sure if I should believe he wasn't over his ex, since he was so strong about chasing you.
It can happen, yes; some people could do it in the hope this would be a way to overcome their feelings. The fact that you're not really over someone cannot prevent you from seeing how nice another person is, and perhaps you can make the mistake of believing that, if you try hard, that person will make you forget your ex. A nail forces another nail out, as the Spanish saying goes.
However, some people find it very hard to even notice other people when they aren't really over their ex's.
I suspect the man. If he was so strong about chasing you, he should be unbearably happy that he finally had you. He should have been all over you, all the time. And, he wouldn't dump you after only twelve meetings. He wouldn't take seeing you as so casual an issue. This doesn't add up, you know.
He was involved with you for a month. You saw each other 2 or 3 times a week; that is, twelve times, at most. This is a short time, but perhaps he was able to see that you two aren't really that good a match, in his opinion.
I don't really know what to think about him, but I'm afraid you had a reason to suspect his behavior.
Now, I have a few words about you. Some people do fall in love madly after a short time. I know that love is a feeling that grows with time, but some people develop it very, very soon. I understand you need to take your precautions, but, sometime, you'll find someone who will really mean it, and you should enjoy that.
Perhaps you've been hurt in the past?
I see this month with him made you realize you really were into him. This is what you're feeling now.
About what to do, do as everyone needs to do when dumped: Go on living your own life. I am sure about something: he is not returning to you.
Take care.
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