A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am 29 and have been in a long distance ´fling´ for almost 5 months now. My fling and I live about a 3 hour planetrip away from each other.We met at a conference, both there on work related business and we ´clicked´, the conference was 3 days and we spent a lot of time together on a friendly and flirty way.We started to write emails and be on msn and skype. Things were never sexual or romantical at this point (so also not during the conference) but after 2 months of writing and chatting on a daily basis things did get romantic and he wanted to come and visit me.Since I wanted to see if the spark would become a flame I agreed to this, in the meantime I did check out his profile online and it all added up (the work/facebook/name/phone number etc) and he agreed on booking a hotel in the city where I live so we could take it slow and he would not have to stay at my house.Since we were both really busy with work it took us some time to find a suitable date since we both had to take a few days off work, anyway, the date is set 2 weeks from now.But lately he has been acting strange, not saying much and just a little distant. When I asked him about this he said it was work related and that it had nothing to do with me, but it just was odd, some small stuff (and I do not want to become even more detailed here) was not really adding up, but I couldnt put my finger on it.Since I did not wanted to see stuff that wasnt there I decided to phone the hotel and ask about the reservation, I did not phone with the assumption to ´bust´ him, but to ease my own mind.Like you can guess by now; there was no reservation under his name.I was shocked, this date has been standing for 2 months now and it was his idea to begin with.When I spoke to him later that day I simply asked him what was up with this. He was very angry for not trusting him and said he needs a few days to think about this, completly ignoring my question about the reservation and making this all about me hurting him for not trusting him.So yea...Can anyone make something out of this?I know me checking the hotel might not be a good sign to some, but I do think it was not a really weird thing to do. I have only spent a few days with him and although talking online for a few months is a good way to get to know someone, I just wanted to check.And I am a ´where there is smoke there is fire´ kinda person, if he had nothing to hide, why would he react like this?Or am I being too suspicious now?Any insights are welcome :(
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flirt, long distance, msn, spark Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSIGH!
I really dont know what to think anymore, he comes across so sincere, knows what buttons to push etc.
But you are really right, this is just a little too much, too convient and just too weird.
The silly little romantic ´but what if?´ girl in me needs to find something else to do, cause this is going nowhere.
Just really dont understand what is in it for him, timewaisters, bah.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have no clue if anyone is follwing this one still, but it went on. He told me he wasnt ´feeling like himself lately´. And that he looked for professional help and that he was diagnosed as depressed. He is even on medication now.
This all happend during the time he was acting vague and distant and he didnt had the heart to tell me cause he was ashamed of it. He says he cancelled the reservation the day he took his first pill cause he did not want to meet me like this and that he ´just couldnt´ tell me.
So yea.
If this is true I simply dont know. Before he ´confessed´ all this I had sent him 1 mail where I told him to not contact me again and that was his reply, basicaly leaving the ball in my court again...
Again I dont know what to make of it and he has been silent since.
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A
female
reader, Becca64 +, writes (20 June 2010):
 well if he hasnt even bothered to reply he doesnt seem worth it !!! if he eventually does then I may take that back, but really.. if he is as interested as he made out he would have made contact by now.
Yo seem way too good for him to me. DOnt let him get to you. from the sounds of it he is not worth it.
You had good reasons, and you didnt do anything wrong
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2010): Is he married? Seems like it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@ oldersis and Q
Thanks for your answers or should I say dialogue ;)
He did specifically say he booked the room and the flight, I remember this cause I thought it was a bit funny he booked first class for such a short flight, since he is not very tall or anything. (I remember having a ´funny´ discussion about this, me claiming he was ´high maintenance´ as a joke).
About the room, he ´booked´ a room in a very prominent hotel in the city, I am not that well known with all the hotels in my city, but this one is really a landmark. He did involve me in choosing the hotel (asking me if this one was in a good location etc).
He later on also mentioned his ticket and the hotel reservation arriving with postal mail.
When I phoned the hotel the staff was extremely helpfull, I basically just phoned asking about their check-in policy/times since I thought it was odd ´we didnt recieve any information about this´. The receptionist proceeded in asking the name where the reservation was under, I told her the name and she proceeded in telling me something must be wrong cause she could not find any reservation under this name on any date.
She even phoned me back telling me she had a few rooms left for that date and that we could get a room on a reduced price since the date was ´so soon´. So I really do not think they were protecting their clients privacy.
I also know he ´booked´ under his own name he mentioned something about the ticket/reservation when he recieved them in the mail, something about automatically generated letters, I dont remeber it exactly, and when I checked the hotel´s webiste they actually mention that they require an ID on check-in.
If he somehow did book under a false name I guess his intentions arnt good anyway.
Havnt heard from him since.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@ Ask oldersister
OKAY!
sigh, I just feel like such an idiot waisting my time on this :(
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@ Becca64
Thank you for your reply :)
"has he expained whyto you yet?"
Nope, I have not spoken to him since, i wrote him an email explaining my ´motivation´ on checking the reservation, and the ball is in his court now as far as I am concerned.
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female
reader, Becca64 +, writes (18 June 2010):
this sounds really weird. You knew somethingwas up but hedidnt explain it. Maybe checking up on him wasnt nice but it wouldnt bother him in this way if he dint have something to hide... why tell you he had a reservation if he didnt...? has he expained whyto you yet?
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