A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:do i need to chase him?this guy im dating never made a move for approximately 4 dates in which i invited him. i did keep wondering that whenever i ask him out, if he doesnt like me, he wouldve said no but he never said no to my invites, neither did he made any move to pursue me. I posted our pictures in FB but unexpectedly people who knew us says we look good together etc. the next thing i know, when i went to his workplace, people are like saying he is my BF?! Congratulations.! And etc.. im shocked , overwelmed and sad at the same time coz i know the truth, it was i who does all the chasing and inviting. When we met, i then asked him, why ddnt he explained it to them that we are not an item, he just said just let them be, theyll just get tired of teasing us, so i did let it be. Until a common friend of ours, who likes him told me stuffs like i flirted with the guy she likes and im not a true friend and so on. so i called up the guy and asked him whats his real score with our common friend and he said just a friend and he says dont worry ill talk to her about it. He did talk to her and explained everything to her. He even invited our her to go out on a vacation with both of us, and with some friends of his. He said he like the girl but only as a sister, he also hoped that well become friends again with the girl and I told him, im not mad at her, coz I have nothing to be guilty for because d guy isnt my bf anyway.The following night, we talked via phone about lovelife, i asked him what to answer if someone asked what are we? coz smiling and ignoring wud make them think there is really something going on. he said tell them we are CLOSE FRIENDS. he said he doesnt fall in love fast, he wants to take it one step at a time and let it be. he doesnt want to be played and he wants to enjoy the moments with me because if we try to rush everything we end up blaming each other and forgetting the good memories we have. well just take it slow and if we get there, then well get there. he seemed to be pretty serious when he told it to me. but he never made any move like inviting me out, just to know me better. im always the one who invites him out first! and deep inside im scared that if i dnt text him, he would never remember me.. geeshhhh.. but on the positive side, he kept telling me what he is up to, whats going on in his life, etc.. one time, i asked him what is his type? he said he likes kind and silent girls! and im obviously not the silent type! was it an indiction he doesnt like me?? then in response i said i like silent type also.. (coz he is not d silent type either).. just to be even. At some point n our conversations, he said he likes my company because im not too girly and high maintenance. he said there wsnt a boring time with me.. nw im wondering, what is he really up to? should i invite him out again? its been 2 weeks since we last went out.. but we kept texting.. should i chase him? or just forget him? A common friend of ours said that it was the first time they saw this guy going out with a girl alone.. what does this mean? And our common friends says his eyes twinkle whenever they tease him to me... ooohhhh... sooo unpredictable.. what should I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dear Mandy  +, writes (12 May 2011):
 Hi
Maybe he is just being honest with you, he said he dont want to rush things, and he likes to spend time with you, so these are good signs, I would test the water, by NOT texting or asking him out for a date, and I bet you he will miss not hearing from you and ask you out :) If you keep chasing him, you will come across looking like you are desperate, and men dont like that. Just be yourself, and he will come to you.
I hope this has helped
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