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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I met this guy in 2003. He told me that him and his wife were not together because she cheated on him. He said that he was staying in the home util he got enough money to get out. He said he could not be with her after what she did to him. He said she cheated more than once. We started seeing each other and fell in love. He would tell me at certain times that he was moving then did not because of money problems. He even came to me and told me that he had put in for the divorce but it never went thru because of something to do with money. He said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and I felt the same, but after his situation hadn't changed after 2 years I told him that I didn't feel right living like that. We decied to stop the phone calls and visits until he got his situation taken care of. We went from talking every day to 2 or 3 times a month. I really loved him. Months and years passed by. I met someone else and after that the other guy called me and asked if I still wanted him. At the time I couldn't say nothing. The other guy and I talked for about 4 months and I realized yes I still wanted the other guy. He said he could not be with me because of what I did. I waited on him 4 years and 8 months and when he asked me if I still wanted him his situation was still the same. I love him so much and I apologized to him but nothing works. I feel as we were both wrong and all the years I was there while he was still in his situation should count for something. He looks down on me like I'm the worst person in the world. I treat him with repect regardless of how he has treated me. Should I be so down about him?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2009): DRpsych, Ginalolabridga,and thagothgirlzo thank you all for the help you all have given me. I'm greatful that you all care enough to respond. I do feel a little better, and I'm hoping in due time I will be over this. You all take care.
A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (6 May 2009):
 You have done nothing wrong as it was hardly cheating on him. If this man wanted you, he would have moved out years ago. Unfortunately you are his comfort blanket - he knows you love him and he likes being loved by someone. He sounds bitter about the past relationship and he is now just making you feel guilty. Don't feel bad, move on with your life and find someone who doesn't drag their feet in showing you commitment.
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20  +, writes (5 May 2009):
 Let him go. I think that he is playing games and that what he is doing has more to do with something else than money matters.
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