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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi, I am been harsh when i told my boyfriend that if he wants to continue texting a girl then he needs to find someone that can handle it because I cant any longer. He has been texting her between one and 3 times a week. He met her before me but she wasnt interested in a relationship with him just wanted to be friends. she has been living abroad for the last year and a half and were texting each other until I told him i wasnt putting up with it any longer. Also he lied to me all along, he said that she usually texts him once a month which is untrue as I have been checking his mobile phone for the last 2 months. and I always felt it was him that was trying to keep this friendship going with her. He said he stopped telling me when she texts because of my reaction-he knew i didnt like it as i felt something was going on but didnt know what. As he knows as i have no problem with him keeping in contact with friends but i find this a bit hard to understand why they need to keep in contact so regularly. He has known all along how upset i found this and especially as I felt he put her before my feelings. He now says he will stop texting her (which i never would ask him to do). He has halfheartly said sorry for the lying. In the texts that i had seen the content in his texts to her were just friendly stuff and hers were similar and would sometimes say i really miss you. Should i trust him now and should i tell him i know that his mobile phone bill goes to his workplace and not our home, and ask him why. Or am i overreacting and insecure and maybe just let him carry on as she isnt here in this country anyway. Please help.
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female
reader, Kirkgem +, writes (7 March 2006):
Well i think you should let him text her, they are friends and you wouldn't mind if one of his guys mates text him about 3 times a week. I think you should apologise for reading his texts, that was a bit extreme. Texts are personal,although it may have put your mind at rest, it wasn't fair. Also you have to remember, she didn't want a relationship anyway, and shes in another country. I think you have to just ignore it, and stop worrying, its obviously you he wants to be with!
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