A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for two years. We love each other but he needs other female attention and it hurts my feelings. I understand that all people look at attractive people but he takes it over the edge. He stares at attractive women to see if he can get their attention. Once he gets it they place google eyes until they cannot anymore. The reason it doesn't go any further is because I am there. He leaves with me, usually pissed off at me for getting upset over this.He stopped for awhile because it started to effect the relationships I had with my friends. As he would stare and ogle them also in the beginning. But, now it's back on. When I question him about an incident (happens about 2-3 times a week) he goes on and on about my low self esteem.I think that the reason I do feel insecure is because of the way he reacts to other women. Is it right to expect our lovers to make us feel sexy? You know, like respect and all that.Any comments would be greatly appreciated.btw, I have broken up with him a few times and he keeps coming back to me. can't understand this....also, he gets extremely jealous if i even look in the direction of another man.help?
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female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (27 September 2007):
 Well if he gets jealous when you look at other men, but he can't stop looking at other women, then start gawking at other men and then when he gets pissed off, tell him he has "low self esteem" and ask him if that sounds familiar? You know what they say, "what's good for the goose, is good for the gander" and tell him if he doesn't like being treated like that, then he needs to re-think his wandering eye, otherwise he's going to continue to get a dose of his own medicine! Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2007): Isn't it funny that men find it accceptable to stare at women, even in the presence of their partner, yet they disapprove of other men looking at their partners or vice versa?
I think making your partner feel wanted, sexy and respected is of the utmost importance in a relationship. Everyone of us needs our confidence lifted every now and then. I understand that your boyfriend may have a low self esteem but he isnt exactly doing much for yours whilst his tongue is on the floor over other girls is he?
We all look when we see an attractive person, but there is a line where just appreciating someones good looks is replaced with lust and desire.
Another point that I would like to make is that you have been honest enough to tell him that you dissapprove, yet he still chooses to make you feel bad. This can't be right can it? How about if you got tickets to see a stripper? Would he appreciate you going if he told you that he didnt like it? - I think not.
So I think what is needed is another chat, your not an over powering girlfriend that disapproves of every glimpse, but you do expect him to take on board what you say and at least be a little more discrete, if people other than you are noticing it must be bad!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2007): Hey,It's hard to believe but my boyfriend is exactly the same but I do believe it's just an ego trip, to feel wanted or attractive. Do you tell him that you love him and appreciate him? That he's sexy and desirable to you? You might not feel you need to say these things and that it should be obvious but maybe it's him who has the low self esteem?
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