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He set me up to catch me snooping.

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 July 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 25 July 2007)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Until two weeks ago, I had been living with my boyfriend for the last year. Over the last 6 months, I have had some major trust issues with our relationship. I had been finding some emails and texts to other girls that were questionable, so I asked him about them. He blew them off saying that he is home every night (which was true) and that I hvae nothing to worry about. Well, because of that, I started to check his email and cell phone on a regular basis.. confronting him each time I found something that concerned me.

Well, it all came to a head when I came back from a family vacation early due to an email I read. He then confessed that in the last 3 months, he had been having some friends send him emails and texts to try to catch me snooping. I felt upset with him doing this, but I also felt bad for not trusting him.

Also, in the last month, he has reconnected with an old friend and they are constanting texting each other... 10+ times a day. She knows about me, and is one of the girls who was sending the fake emails to catch me snooping.

About a week later, we decided it would be better if I moved out to my own place. Since I have moved out, our relationship has been great when we are together, which is about 3 times a week, but I can't help but wonder what he is doing while I am not there. He is gone all of the time, and I wonder if he is hanging out with the reconnected friend.

Am I worrying too much? Do you think this will really work out for us, or is the beginning of the end? Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

View related questions: moved out, text

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A female reader, tadala United States +, writes (25 July 2007):

tadala agony auntThe fact this this girl is in on the "fake" texting is a little odd. I would talk to him first about how I feel and see if anything changes. If not, and you still can't trust him, I would move on. Good luck!

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A female reader, flower girl United Kingdom +, writes (25 July 2007):

flower girl agony auntIt's only a thought but have you considered he might just be turning this all around on you and just covering his own back.

You say 'we decided it would be best if i move out', was that really a joint decision or was it something he suggested, and you went along with?

My husband was at home with me every night but i did not stop him getting up to things.

Take care.xx.

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