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He keeps calling me his ex wife's name by mistake... and it hurts!

Tagged as: Dating, Family, Teenage, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 April 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 19 April 2009)
A female South Africa age 26-29, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend and have been dating for 11 months now. He has been sweet and all those things good and bad, yet it's all good. A few times he has called me by his ex-wife's name. He done it once or twice... The problem came in when this afternoon we were playing around like we normally do, biting each other, tickling and so on.. Well we were having sex he said he should pull out, so I asked him why and he said 'cause we don't exactly want little..(his name) and his ex-wife's name, running around'... It could have been a mistake, well cause it was but it rather hurts badly and deeply cut me.... I don't think he actually knows he said it because he is still talking to me like he normally does. I really don't know what to do, emotionally that would you do...?

View related questions: ex-wife, his ex

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

i told my sister what happen, she is studying psychology, one of the mean reason why it can happy is because i have taken his ex-wife's place, he does it unconcently its not that he is thinking of her or anything he is just use to having her there not me. Which is okay, i dont mind if he calls by her name i just dont know how to react when he does... Has this ever happened to anyone else, and what did you do?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

... Well i have news, i told him what happened and how i feel about what happened.... He said that he was sorry and that he does not recall saying it like that, it must have been a slip of the tongue..whe also said that a lot of people have been asking him about her now a days and it does irrate him she has long gone and after what she done he wont give her a third chance to come back. She left him for some other guy overseas she met on the internet in some chatroom.. That killed him big time.. I told him i understand that it was a mistake but it really cut deep, he said that he was really sorry and he never meant it like that. I am unique and very special to him, i am important to him and i have nothing to worry about.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2009):

you need to ask him outright whether he still has feelings for the ex. did they have a "decent" breakup and are they still friends? has he definately moved on with you or is he using you as a rebound relationship?

11 months and calling you his ex's name is not on, especially during sex.

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A female reader, kellyxxx United Kingdom +, writes (17 April 2009):

kellyxxx agony auntTell him what he said and when he said it. Tell him how it makes you feel! Even write him a letter explaining everything. He needs to know facts about when it happened.

If you specify things it makes them easier to talk about and if you bullet point everything it gives him the information in digestable chunks so that he isn't overwhelmed, he is less likely to get defensive! X

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