A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Okay i have been with my boyfriend for four years. And yes our relationship is somewhat good. But a few days ago all my bf did was ask about a threesome. I have had them in the past and they are not the greatest idea at all. he kept on begging me telling me that he wont stick his thing inside of her or nothing like that. I kept on telling him NO.. All i hear now from him is a threesome. What can i do?? Is this something to be worried about??.. please write back..Im really worried.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks you all dear much. Me and my boyfriend are doing very well and he stopped asking me bout em. Certainly after how i told him the details and how bad it was for me after that. I told him that i am happy with him and only him i do not want any other person involved with us. It's not that i have a jealous issue but from my expiercenses they ARE not the greatest idea, They causes me to loose my friends whom i did it with when it was there idea.
For all you males out there."No" Threesomes arent the greatest idea they screw up ur relationship with your partner. They are NOT fun in my point of Eyes. Maybe single bc i was single when i did it. But in a relationship NO...
I love my man too death and that's the way how it's gonna be. Me and JrSve only..
A
female
reader, sweetlilpeachx69 +, writes (2 October 2007):
tell him it caused problems before and that you really love him and want it to work with him not be mad cause you guys slept with someone else and see what he says to that
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (1 October 2007):
 I agree with you, threesomes are not a good idea especially if one person isn't totally gungho about it. Tell him No and the the subject is closed, if he doesn't like it then show him the door. Sounds like he isn't all that committed to your relationship anyway.
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (1 October 2007):
 If he keeps on insisting when you say 'no' then you have to question whether he respects you. And if he doesn't respect you then you should question whether you should be in a relationship with him. It's ok to ask, but it's absolutely not ok to put constant pressure on for something like this.
You don't say if you have told him about your previous experience, but this is a subject where you might in the future (with other boyfriends if you leave this one) seriously consider not mentioning it. Many many men will become insecure and jealous when they hear their partner had a threesome, and it can create all sorts of complexities like your current situation. Having said that, if the person is 'the one' then I believe you should tell all, but it's something to only discuss when you are ready for complete commitment and openness.
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (1 October 2007):
Since you did it before, why not do it for him. Once may be enough.
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A
female
reader, Pinkbees09 +, writes (1 October 2007):
 Maybe tell him your not comfortable with it at all. You both need to sit down and talk about this.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (30 September 2007):
 What's going on is this. Some guys look at threesomes as being a special interaction. As long as porn stresses 2 girls attacking and taking advantage of 1 guy. I think men would be a bit curious of what that is like.
It's not something I'd worry about as being abnormal. I really think it was digging a hole by telling him you'd done that before. Now when you turn him down it's like saying "These other people were more important than I am." If this is something you are really not interested in, you're going to have to explain in detail why you aren't to get him to understand you views so he doesn't feel as if he's inadequate.
I wouldn't say the answer is to give in, if it's against your views and what you are interested in. You're going to have to really get it across in a non harmful manner to him. Think of it as an extreme jealousy. She was willing to do my dream with someone else, this is something she did before, but when it comes to me I guess she just isn't that interested in me as she was with him. It's kind of like letting someone else have the fun that he wished he'd be able to experience.
I don't know what else to tell you. I tried to think of a way to phrase it when talking to him, but I am at a loss on presenting it.
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