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He is having marriage problems and we want a fling together? what should I do?

Tagged as: Dating, Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 September 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 14 September 2010)
A female age 41-50, anonymous writes:

So I just got into contact with a guy I had a crush on back in high school. Found out he was very attracted to me as well. We both haven't forgotten each other and would like to have a fling but here's the situation: he's married, I live in one country and he lives in another. We have spent hours talking and he's marriage is on the rocks at best. What should I do?

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (14 September 2010):

eyeswideopen agony auntDamn and I JUST sold the Brooklyn Bridge last week!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (14 September 2010):

Honeypie agony auntThey ALL have marriage problems when they are trying to hook up.

*My wife doesn't like sex any more*

*My wife doesn't understand me*

Blah Blah Blah

You are willing to become a "home-wrecker" for a few hours of rolling in the hay? Do YOU want to be "that" kind of woman?

If his marriage is that rocky he needs to either WORK on his marriage or walk away (as getting a divorce) - not start having flings with old high school flames....

What do you think will happen if you DO go though with it? Do you think he will leave the "horrible" wife and ride into the sunset for a happily ever after? Affairs like this have 1 out come 95% of the time. 2 people getting hurt. The wife and the "other" woman.

What ever happened to having integrity, self respect and morals?

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A female reader, AnnieLuck United Kingdom +, writes (14 September 2010):

Play this one out. If his marriage is on the rocks then it's very likely they may separate (with or without your fling together), and then if he approaches you for a relationship afterwards you know your importance in his life, at least in the grand scheme of things!

Right now meddling into an affair will just confuse him, you and muddy the waters even further. Tell him you care for him deeply, but existing relationships need to be resolved one way or another before you become intimate.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2010):

Don't go there. Every guy who is married starts off an affair with that statement. No guy is going to say "yeah, I love my wife dearly and things are going great in my marriage...I just want to bang you because you're hot, I'm horny and I'm bored and too lazy and weak to work at the marriage I swore to". Is it true he's having "problems"...absolutely. But the "marriage problems" are being caused by his lust for other women.

And dont be that woman. You're better than that. You'll get heartbroken, he'll lose everything, and his wife will be devastated. lose-lose situation.

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A male reader, rcn United States +, writes (14 September 2010):

rcn agony auntWhile he's married, I'd recommend not following up with any type of fling. I understand the urge being there, but right now he's not yours and that temptation would be wrong to enter into while he's still with his wife.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (14 September 2010):

Sure he has 'marriage problems'.

That's the mating call of every cheating married man in the world. You want to be the pet of a married man? Probably not. He'll just use you then go home to his poor wife. Why bother with a man who just wants to have fun at his wife's expense and at yours? He can't offer you anything but pain, and you'll just end up part of a cheating man's web of lies.

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