A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I recently started dating this guy. We have been together 4 2months and he has already started thinking long term. However, he has recently moved into a flat with three other girls, one of which he had feelings for at the beginning of the year. I'm a bit uncomfortable with this but i don't want to sound possessive. He says that now he is with me he doesn't want to let me go and so won't do anything but still. Also, he has this habit of saying he wants to meet up and then changing his plans to go out with one of his friends. Now that really pisses me off!! What should i say/do????
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (28 April 2008):
 He may say that he wants you, this is translated into but I don't want anyone else to have you. Kick this unreliable loser to the kerb.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (28 April 2008):
 Who is more important to him , his friends or you?
Sorry , it looks like you are still below the friends category.
If he is worthwhile, you may stick around, but if the
situation does not change, then I think I will move on.
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A
female
reader, Susan Strict +, writes (28 April 2008):
 If that's how he's behaving at the beginning of a relationship then it's really not working.
After 4.2 months you should both still be at the stage where everything is wonderful and you want to spend every possible minute with each other.
OK, so not everyone is the same, but if after such a short time together it seems unusual that he would want to go out with one of his friends rather than with you if he is serious about you.
I think you have every right to get a bit "possessive". In fact, I think that is what you ought to do. It might be destructive to whatever relationship you have, but I think it's the only way you are going to move forward. If his reaction is "I'm so sorry, of course I'll spend more time with you" then that's wonderful. If he simply gets defensive and bad-tempered then you may need to look seriously at whether this is a relationship that's going anywhere.
Good luck.
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