A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:There is a guy I've recently met that I REALLY like. We are very similar, we get on so well together etc etc and the chemistry is amazing. The only problem is, he has a girlfriend. When I first met him, it was online and he was ambiguous about his relationship status. On one part of his profile it said he was single, but another said "unknown". After talking with him a while, he told me he wanted to find friends and nothing else. I respected that, even though I thought it was an odd place to look for friends.I gave him the benefit of the doubt and met with him a couple of times, fully intending to just be friends. To be honest, I know how stupid it is to get involved with a guy who would cheat on his girlfriend for you. Once you become his girlfriend, if you do, how could you possibly trust him? So I got it into my mind that he was off limits, even though I REALLY liked him.The problem is that he is now being very obviously flirtatious with me. There's always a sexual innuendo, when we meet it always feels like a date, and he keeps gazing into my eyes etc. He is very eager to meet again, and hasn't mentioned his girlfriend once. On one hand I realise that he could just be playing me and probably doesn't have very much integrity if he's out flirting with other girls while he has a gf (he has been with her I think 8 months or so) but on the other hand he's not the kind of guy you meet every day and I really think we could have something. I know I should tell him to shove it, but I REALLY like him.Should I just go along and be his "friend" until he makes a move? Should I avoid him altogether?
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female
reader, Original shiraz! +, writes (27 July 2009):
I think the best thing you could do is keep your distance, avoid contact until he makes a descion you dont want to get involved into this kind of thing, your the only one who will get hurt in the end of it.
What kind of guy meets with another girl not telling her hes actually got a girlfriend, if he could do this to her then imagine what he could do to you if it were the other way round. He could be a genuine guy but if hes lying from the start then what future do you have with him. He obviously wants to remain with his girlfriend or else he would of ended it by now, they may well be having issues and his status is unknown but until they are finished for good i dont see how you can stick around knowing hes with another. Being friends with him has lead to more, dont let yourself get hurt any more do the right thing and walk away, if he was genuine in his feelings toward you then he will leave his girlfriend.
The last thing you want him to do is make a move it makes the whole thing more complicated, avoid it and move on.
Do the right thing for you and find happiness in someone who is in the right situation to give it you, you need that honesty in a relationship if you want it to work even if he did dump her would the trust be there after it all?
Best of luck
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