A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been in an LDR for almost a year and a half, we see each other every two weeks and when we are together its great. We travel to each others homes to split the travelling between us. when we are not together, we text each other a few times each day and speak on the phone most nights before we go to bed.The texts are nice just before we meet up, saying things like missing you and love you, and the same just after we part ways, for the rest of the time inbetween they are cold, very basic like 'had a gud day?'... its always the same.i have mentioned to him that its when we are apart that i need the loving texts the most and the phones calls, but nothing changes. I get the feeling that its a case of out of sight out of mind.I do send him loving texts, but they are always returned with cold general stuff.am i making too much of this?an example text i sent today, " hi :) hows your day going? missing you very much, cant wait to see you xxx"he replied with " hi its going ok hope your ok"i think its important specially in an LDR to keep up the loving inbetween, and without it i begin to wonder if he is all that into me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2009): hi i am the original poster.
i need the reasurance because i found out he cheated three months ago, he begged for us to stay together and i agreed on the condition that we communicate better.
A
female
reader, nancyhasglasses  +, writes (11 June 2009):
You need to ask yourself why you need all this reassurance. If he loves you, he'll show it by the way he acts, not the things he says or texts. You need a project to focus on so you aren't so worried. Go volunteer at a shelter or at a school, it will give you perspective and something to talk about. Maybe it will even perk up his interest.
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A
female
reader, MonicaC +, writes (11 June 2009):
 Having just gotten out of an LDR that went bad, I can only say that these kinds of relationships are incredibly difficult to keep going. There is only so much that you can do in terms of texting, e-mailing and calling. And, for some people, that just isn't enough.
I'm not saying he's doing anything improper, but when things went south in my relationship, it all started with him getting colder. Then, he stopped texting or calling except when he felt like it. Then, he had an affair with another woman.
Take it for what it's worth, but this is what happened to me. My advice is simple: Protect yourself and don't necessarily trust someone just because you've been with them for a while. Distance has a strange effect on some. For me, it made me love him more. For him, it made him have an affair.
Best of luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2009): some people just aren't that affectionate. I had the same problem. I was always telling her I miss you love you stuff, and I got nothing but cold responses like ok, good, me too, yes and no. eventually we broke up, so keep and eye on it.
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