A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I split up with my ex about 3 months ago but he wont 'give up on me' he insists that it would still work and that i should give him another chance. he is nice enough and i kind of believe him when he tells me he loves me. but i cant trust him. i told him i didnt want to go all the way with him but he tried to anyway... he really scared me and it took all my strength to push him away. when i confronted him about why he tried to after we broke up he first of all failed to see what he had done wrong. when he finaly 'realised' he said he thought i was jokeing when i had said no.can i ever trust him again?could i take him back as a friend (seeming as i would never go out with him again)
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks! i've been on holiday resently so havnt been able to reply for some time, i dont have an older brother and i prefer not to involve my dad in relationships. the trouble is resently i did split up with my bf for variouse reasons and i fear he might think that this is an opening for him. i do have a very close friend who is a guy but he lives to far away to 'scare' him; i have told my friend everything and he almost got the train down to sort it out but he couldnt get the money in the end. i dont reply to his texts anymore and my friends arn't talking to him much.. i think it miht all work out and eventually he will move on.
thanks for all of your support and help
xxx
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (6 August 2008):
He asked why you hated him because he's still trying to manipulate you into replying and pitying him. It's another trick.
I agree with the person below that you need to tell someone that he won't leave you alone. Now he knows you are getting stronger and that his usual methods of breaking you down aren't working there is a danger he will try something more direct. Do you have a big brother or are you close to your dad or a male cousin?
I'm not saying you should go and have him beaten up... no no, but if your Ex knows you are taking action and involving other people it might scare him into giving up because he will know he can't get away with it like he could when it was just you.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2008): You don't have to tell him whether you hate him or not, just let him know that you strongly feel that given your personalities, you wouldn't work out together and that he has got to move on. You could also say that though you have good feelings for him, you like him less and less every time he contacts you, because it shows a lack of respect for your wishes to be left alone.
I think it would be a good idea to tell an adult (like your parents, or a school counselor) that your ex keeps harassing you and won't take no for an answer. They may have good ideas on how to keep him away, and if an incident happens then you will have evidence to show that you were not trying to lead him on.
Stay away from this guy, he needs to learn that no means no. The more you see him, the more likely it is that he'll force you to do things you don't want to do. Hopefully losing you this way will teach him to be more respectful of girls in the future... getting you back will just teach him that being persistent and stalking gets him what he wants.
Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks to everyone!!! i have not seen him for a while now and he seems to have moved on slightly. unfortunatly he is still trying to text me and wanted me to sleep round his house. he asked me why i hated him and i didnt know what to reply, i dont hate him but if i told him i didnt he might get the wrong idea. he also asked me to split up with my boy friend for him. thanks for everything ^^ xxxx
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (29 July 2008):
The fact that he tried to have sex with you and wouldn't listen when you said no, and now the fact that you've split up with him and he won't listen and respect that.... These should be setting off warning bells in your head.
I don't think you can ever be friends with this guy. If you were, how long would it be before he started cuddling up and trying to kiss you again and ignored you when you told him to stop?
I'd get this guy out of your life for a while. He needs to go away and get over you before you spend any time with him ever again.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, kenny + ♥, writes (28 July 2008):
 Trust is Probally one of the most important factors which hold a relationship togeher. A relationship without trust is like building a house without digging the foundations, it will sooner or later fall down. This guy betrayed your trust, you said no and he carried on regardless. He most certainly knew you was not joking, he says this after the event because he knows he was the one in the wrong. My advice would be to completely disregard this guy and abolish contact with him, i say this because i think what he did was so wrong, and he knows it too. I think you should find someone else that gives you the love and respect that you so rightly deserve.
All the best & good luck x
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