A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i and a person have been in a relationship for 10 years (both emotionally and physically). now i am 29 and he is 30 years old.we were from the same town but studied in different cities till 2007.in 2007 we both were in bangalore till 2009 may.we both are currently working in different cities and earn Rs17000 each.since 2008, after his elder brother got married, he and his mom were asking if my parents will give any cash before marriage as he wants to start comfortably. i convinced and forced my dad to give us 5 lakhs at time of marriage to save my relationship. now till 2010 he is not still telling when he will marry me postpones the idea, says his mom is against his choice of partner but constantly seeks reassurance that my dad will pay the 5 lakhs he promised. he is now saying his mother has loans for his education that have to be repaid, amounting to 8 lakhs. now he is saying the 5 lakhs are not enough for repayment and also his mother has no cash to spend for the marriage arrangements from their side. and hence marriage has to be delayed also. he gives new plans for money arrangement and asks me to ask my dad. though i never pressurised him, i have given him deadlines from 2007 and they have been postponed all the time. he feels i am cornering him and if i love him i should wait. if i cant wait, he is doubtful on my character. now i have asked him to marry me before july 2010 and 5 lakhs will be paid.i have faced mental and emotional torture as i totally and unconditionally loved him, but he has to tie the knot soon isnt it? now i feel angry and hateful towards him and feel he might make me ask for money or other things even after marriage.will he keep me happy? please advise me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2010): i have posted the question.i am trying my best to end it.. but i keep remembering all the times he has been wonderful, caring, affectionate and made me happy in all special ways. from 2000 to 2008 he was very loving. he also had his rough patches in life and we went through and out together.still, keeping current happenings in mind, so you feel i should end it with him? please tell me
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2010): hi, im the one who posted the question. thank you soo much for your guidance and empathy.
really grateful...
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (20 April 2010):
 He sounds as though he has no intention of marrying you. If he wanted to, he would have found a way. This family does not sound like one you want to be tied to for the rest of your life. They take money from your family? Really? I don't see any honor there.
Sadly, I would advise you to end it with him. Your life is not something that should be entrusted to a man who cannot commit to you. After 10 years, he should know by now about marrying you.
Sorry. Be strong.
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A
female
reader, rambini  +, writes (20 April 2010):
 you need to get out of this relationship. i cannot stress this enough. this man is no good for you! a man should be begging on his knees to marry you! he shouldnt need promises of money and 10 years time to marry you!
money and benefits should not even come into it, loving you should be enough. if this isnt enough then he is the wrong man for you. and how dare he turn it round and insult your character?! 10 years is long enough to wait for anybody. he is a disgraceful person who is using you for money and so he can insult you.
please, you need to get away from this man and find someone worthy of your love who will love you unconditionally regardless of your money or anything else.
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