A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been on 3 dates with this a guy who lives 2hrs away from me. He's coming to visit me this weekend and staying over for a night. We get along really well and communicate via e-mail a lot. Am I expected to put out, since he's coming all the way here to visit me? I know I'm not obligated to have sex with him but at the same time I feel like I should. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Artistry +, writes (27 June 2008):
 Hi, thanks for your return answer. Take your time, enjoy yourself. You know he likes you, if he is coming where you are, to see you. It should be fun. Take care. Surprise him with a small rosebud. :o) Be true to yourself.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI think Artistry had the best wording. I think there's an expectation of sex and him being a guy, I'm pretty sure he's hoping for it, lol.
I guess if it happens it happens right? I won't do anything just because I feel obligated but if things escalate and it leads to sex then I should be comfortable with it.
Thanks everyone.
...............................
A
male
reader, Dr Vendetta  +, writes (27 June 2008):
 he's certainly Hoping you'll put out.i know this because...and heres a little secret..ready?he has a penis..shhhif you want to bang his brains out because you like him, he's hot or he's hung like a babies arm holding an apple then go for it.if he's more like a goblin from harry potter then... don't.If all the kids Jump off a bridge are you going to?..personally i would because if ALL the kids are doing it theres gotta be something really cool down there.
...............................
A
female
reader, Artistry +, writes (27 June 2008):
Hi there, You are concerned that there is an expectation of sex. Has he asked you or indicated in some way that this is why he is coming? I think you are putting pressure on yourself for no reson. Get to know him as a person, what are your similiarites, your likes, dislikes? Three dates is not a lot of time, but sex is sometimes spontaneous sometimes not, I would not pressure myself, I would think that the genteman would want you, to want to be with him for other reasons than your feeling, that you have to have sex with him, because he is traveling to see you. Release the pressure, have a good time, share yourself emotionally and get to know who he is, as he does the same. You will know when the time, as they say is right, for further involvement between the two of you. Take care of yourself, and follow your heart. The rest will take care of itself.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tremor  +, writes (27 June 2008):
 If he expects you to put out, he's not much of a gentleman. if you want to have sex with him, go right ahead and enjoy, but if you don't feel comfortable with it, then don't, even if you feel like you 'should'.
...............................
A
male
reader, Collaroy +, writes (27 June 2008):
 Hi,
The concern for me is that you say "should I put out for him" like it is a duty and not something you actually want to do.
When you first have sex with a partner it should be because the mood takes you there not because you feel obligated to him. This is no way to start a relationship, if nature takes it course then by all means do the rumpy pumpy, but never do it because you feel because he was made a big effor you have to drop your knickers.
good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, Caralots +, writes (27 June 2008):
If i were you, I wouldn't. If you two were to sleep together, make sure that its just cuddling. You should make it obvious before he even gets to your house that you're not ready for sex. Its better to wait a little further in the relationship to see what will happen, rather then have it be all at once, and if hes coming because he only thinks hes gonna get some, then he might not be the perfect guy for you anyways. If hes worth it, then he'll be comfortable waiting also.
...............................
|
