A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So this is on my mind and has happened a while ago I just wanna make sure I'm doing the right thing. I met a really great guy he is everything I ever want in one. There are some problems around this and that is we are both in relationships, mine is at the point of broke we have been togther 3 years and for the last year I lost that love I had for him and I'm not happy and his is just starting they have been together 4 months. We have been sexual to see if the feelings were shared and now he wants his gf and I have to lie and pretend that I don't care. He always tells me no matter what he wants to be friends and that he worries about me also, sometimes it seeems to care more than a freind and other times he doesn't know. I mean I'm in over my head with this and his relationship isn't great she just got out of a marriage and started to date him and didn't tell her ex it was fully over until they got together and now come to find out they are talking about marriage. We texted everyday for 3 weeks hours on end now he feels guilty and wants to be friends and I don't wanna be just freinds I wanna be the one to make him happy. I choose to walk away and now I think I might have made the wrong mistake. I tried to tell him before that I was starting to like him and he said he can't do anything right now and I don't know if I should have tried more or if I did the right thing by letting him go. I sit and watch his relstionship go on back and forth happy and not happy when they are happy it's great and when they are not it sucks cause he stresses out so much and she still lets her ex control her life and still wears her wedding band around him.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2010): He hasn't told me anything to stop or anyting all he has said is he wants to stop having sex with me for now and that he wants to be my friend. He is so worried about being my friend and that he wants me happy. He still throws off little comments to me and still shows he likes me.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2010): I don't think it would have been wrong to have tried harder, unless he flat out told you to stop.
so what if he's in a relationship, that is not YOUR responsibility. You could have stated the way you feel which is just giving him information. then it is up to him what he wants to do with that information.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (18 November 2010):
 Hi honestly you done the right thing here, i dont know why so many people in this world cheat at the moment, its wrong wrong wrong, do people have no self respect left anymore, or care that they are breaking someones heart and probably leave them with trust issues for the rest of there lives??
Ok so first off, if you are unhappy and dont love your partner it is still not an excuse to cheat, leave him, get out of the relationship and start being independant what is the point in being with someone who you dont want to be with, let him go and find a woman that does actually love him and wants him.
Ok as for this other guy he is not better by cheating on his girlfriend, especially a girl that has just came out of a marriage. But at least he got the sence to see that what he was doing was wrong and he told you he wants to be with his girlfriend. So yes you did the right thing by letting him go he told you clearly what he wants and you just need to accept this. There relationship might not work and therefore you can then see when he is single how things would go but not until then. You mention that his girlfriend still lets his ex rule her life and still wears her wedding band,am sorry but thats up to him if he wants to accept that not you.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (18 November 2010):
 You need to focus on your current relationship before you start thinking of anything else. Just because you say that your relationship is at the "point of broke" that doesn't mean it's over. End it before you attempt anything further. Then you won't be possibly starting a new relationship with an affair.
It's probable that he still carries some feelings for you. You'll never know unless you discuss it with him. He's in the honeymoon stage of his relationship, so it may be difficult to convince him to leave her. It will be even harder if you still have your BF.
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