A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Why would a guy cheat on his girlfriend, propose to her, vow to never tell her that he cheated on her, and continue talking with the woman that he cheated with, as if everything is fine??? It's a really messed up situation. I'm the woman that he cheated with. We are work colleagues, and it is impossible to NOT see each other or talk at work. Neither of us wants to cross any boundaries AGAIN, and he claims to be certain that he will never cheat on his fiancee/wife and is committed to being a wonderful husband to her...and the whole situation is a mess on my end, b/c I truly didn't know that when we "hooked up" he was cheating b/c I didn't learn about his longterm girlfriend until after we flirted for sometime and were intimate. I have gone through the whole anger and disgust process, and I have chosen to forgive and move on by detaching and making the decision to NOT care about him or his future. But it is hard to not be angry and "have feelings" for this jerk b/c I was hooked long before I knew of his relationship. Since not seeing him or hearing about his future isn't an option, since at the office I have to pretend that all is fabulous, how do I get to a place where I don't wish that his relationship completely falls apart and not want to vomit everytime I hear about his wedding plans?? I keep thinking he deserves some karma by having his fiancee leave him, and then end up feeling guilty b/c I want him to get hurt! I want to be a better person than that! Can he really get away with marrying this poor woman without her knowing what he did to her a few months before he proposed?? It really makes me sick to see him think that what he is doing by lying to his fiancee is fine!!!!!!!!!
View related questions:
at work, fiance, flirt, move on, wedding Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2010): It's rare a person only cheats once, especially if they get away with it. This is totally unfair on the woman in question.This woman is going to get married to this man and most likely find out all of the bad things one day when its too late and they have kids. Divorces are messy.This being said, their relationship is not your responsbility if he is just a work collegue and you didn't know anything about her. You are probably aware of the consequenses of confronting this (it can affect your work and home life), especially if the woman (who you don't know?) is bitter towards you about it.I can't tell you what to do, but if it was me I would think about what I'd want if I were the woman being cheated on and I would want to know before entering a marriage if somebody had cheated on me.
|
