A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:One of my friends broke up with her boyfriend... and her bf talked to me a lot and we used to text each other.... i really liked him and thought that now since my friend is out of the picture... it may happen that we two end up together... it may sound bitchy... but she actually never loved him in the first place.. i know that... but now after all this time when i thought that maybe he despises her he is actually talking to her and they share a very close friendship... we are not in any committed relationship but this hurts me... was i just a rebound girl for him?? i really love this guy but i don't want to make situations awkward for both of us... if he gets to know my feelings and he does not reciprocate them... lately he has been ignoring my texts... i dont know what to do..?? should i move on?? if yes, how?? it would be really difficult for me to see my friend fooling around with a guy whom i like so much... please help me....
View related questions:
broke up, move on, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (15 July 2013):
 You committed a "part foul" AKA "girl-code rule" by getting involved with a friend's EX. That rarely turns out good. Because if it DOESN'T work out, like your situation - YOU look like the bad guy. And you can't TELL me there weren't any other guys around you could have become friends or more with....
So LEARN from this.
I can understand it hurts to be the rebound girl, but it happens :(
Wish them luck, block his number. MOVE on.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (15 July 2013):
 I agree with WiseOwle on this one, provided that you didn't previously ask your friend if she would be alright if you dated her ex.
It sounds like you never had any sort of conversation with your friend about dating the ex. You may think that since he was free and you were too, that it was none of your friend's business. It is if you value your friendship. Now, you've gotten it visited back on you, because you *were* rebound girl.
The biggest tragedy isn't the guy, it's how little you valued the friendship with her. No guy is ever worth trashing a friendship over, and when you said in your justification that your friend "never loved him in the first place", the truth is that you never actually loved your friend in the first place.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2013): Not only are you the rebound girl; but you were the girl who betrayed a friend.
The worse thing a friend could ever do, is start dating her friend's ex; no sooner than they break up.
What type of a friend is that?
Well, I guess you're wrong that she doesn't care for him.
Now you're on the outside, looking in!!! That's where you belong.
He's back with her where he belongs.
Your heart-break is your karma for being an opportunist, and going after your friend's boyfriend. You had your eye on him, and swooped in as soon as you knew they broke up.
Real friends don't do that.
I will not be so harsh, as to say you deserve to be in pain. That would be cruel. However; there is a lesson learned here. People sometimes need time to work things out between them. They may separate out of anger, and just need time and space to cool off.
That isn't your opportunity to take advantage of the emotional situation. You owed her more than that, as a true friend. You took advantage of his moment of vulnerability;
when he was in a state of confusion and grief.
I wouldn't blame her if she had nothing else to do with you.
I'm happy to know he doesn't respond to your text messages, and respects her feelings more than you do.
As a friend, when your girlfriend broke up with her bf; you were supposed to be there to support her after the breakup. To help her get through her pain. You were too busy tracking down her man.
You were crouched and ready to pounce on her boyfriend the first chance you got.
Your friend is back with "her boyfriend!!!"
She is not fooling around with someone you like.
I'm very happy for them. If you were a true friend, you should be too.
What should you do?
Learn how to be a decent friend, and beg her to forgive you for undermining your friendship.
You walked all over the "lady's code." Go dry your crocodile tears.
...............................
|
