A
female
age
41-50,
*shleystar
writes:I've been seeing a man for just 7 weeks. After spending more and more time with him, I realized that he makes rude comments, says condescending things, interrupts conversations to be self-promoting, and is generally more antagonizing than empathizing in conversations. He generally makes his friends and acquaintances feel awkward and alienated in most interactions. It took me 5-6 weeks (and 3 or 4 sleepovers) to realize this.When I told him I didn't think we should keep seeing each other, he asked why I had the change of heart. Should I tell say something about his behavior problem?Normally, I don't think it's good to tell people their faults even if they ask. But here I think he might genuinely be interested in avoiding making the same mistake twice, so I want to know if shedding some light for him is the right thing to do.
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female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (31 October 2010):
 You can tell him, but I have this funny feeling that he's not asking because he doesn't know, he's asking because he wants to argue you back into a relationship.
Hope I'm wrong.
A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (31 October 2010):
 Yes, it would be best to tell him. Clearly he's not aware his actions are off-putting.
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A
female
reader, PatientlyWaiting1 +, writes (31 October 2010):
Yes, in a nice way. It is constructive critisism.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2010): if u dont tell him y then he's not gonna no any different the next time around. He is gonna keep acting the same. If u make him aware of his behaviour then maybe he will begin to think before he speaks and not cause so much alienation amongstthe people he spends time with. If he's that bad then u may b doing him one of the biggest favours of his adult life. Just bare in mind that not everybody is good at accepting criticism.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2010): He wants to know. So i would tell him. It might make him more considerate in the future if he knows how hes comimg across to people.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2010): If you feel like it's the right thing to do and maybe it will benefit him in some way, then go ahead.The only thing i'd say though is be tactful about it.
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A
male
reader, corbandallas  +, writes (30 October 2010):
I think you should, he's going to resent you if you don't. Just be polite about it
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (30 October 2010):
 I think you should, because he asked for the answer.
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