A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A few years ago a boy told me he wanted to be more than friends. At the time I didn't think I felt that way about him so I said no, he didn't give up though, and over the course of 2 years he asked me out about 4 or 5 times. The boy in question is really truly lovely, and we've always been friends, but he was teased by a number of people, and being a very shy person, I didn't feel ready to take the butt of all their jokes and sarcastic comments, (the same boys that bullied him, weren't at all friendly towards me.) so when I began to think I liked him I still didn't say yes. His final attempt was about a year ago just before the 5th year prom, he asked me to go with him, and being the total idiot I was I said no. Afterwards I felt stupid, but by then he was going with someone else, and it was too late. I want to talk to him about how I feel but I don't even know if he still likes me in that way. And he has a girlfried, who he's been going out with about 6 months. What do I do? I can't get him off my mind, and I'm thinking about him constantly, and regretting all those 'no's' I gave him, and just wishing I'd realised sooner. I really need help, this is more than just a crush. When he smiles at me I go all wobbly and blush, and when he brushes against me when he walks by I feel all heady and breathless. But I don't know how to tell him how I feel. I really reall really need some advice.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2008): Heya, this was my question, and I really appreciate all the advice you guys have given me. I've decided I will talk to him, but I'm absolutely terrified about doing it! Should I write him a letter? Or send him an email? Or msn him? Or tell him to his face? I think I might write a letter but if you've got any other suggestions please let me know!And I gave you all a 5* rating! :)Thankyou again!
A
female
reader, Loah +, writes (31 October 2008):
 Hey there,
After reading your post, I think you should tell him the way you feel. Dont simply state that your interested, tell him virtually what youve posted here. Let him know that in the past you were unsure of your feelings and youve finally realized that he was the one all along. Trust me, i can relate and understand that it can take time for a person realize their true feelings, ive been there. Its never too late! If in the end he has truly moved on and no longer has mutual feelings for you, know that you did try and can have no regets about it. You cant lose what you dont have.
Wish you the best,
Loah
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (31 October 2008):
 I've been through something so similar to your story that I feel like I'm reading my own diary! (Except that my diary is written in Spanish.)
Even though you didn't say so in your post, is it possible that you said "no" because you were afraid that it would ruin your friendship with him?
I fell in love with my best friend, but he and I lived in different countries. At one point, he asked if we could be more than friends. I really loved him, and he meant the sun and moon to me, but I was afraid that if we had a long distance relationship it would ruin everything and I couldn't bear to lose him. Well he eventually found another girlfriend, and I thought, my goodness, I'm such a moron, why didn't I just take a chance?
I could be wrong about you, but I'm seeing myself in your question. Even though you didn't have the long-distance problem, you said no and regret your decision now.
If you had said yes, and become his girlfriend, things may not have worked out between you and it may have ruined your friendships. Sometimmes it's only in retrospect that we realize whether or not we made the right choice... but you learn from your mistakes.
I am sorry if this hurts you, but I went through the feeling of "How could I be such an idiot." You're not an idiot but we all make mistakes. You have to learn from them, or you won't grow.
Maybe some of the other aunts will disagree with me, but if you have your heart set on this boy, you must do two things.
You have to be sincere and tell him how you
u feel about him, no games. Tell him that you are sorry if you ever hurt him and tell him how much you care for him.
Secondly, if you love him, you have to respect his feelings. I know it's scary when you risk it all and reveal your feelings for someone, but at least you'll have an answer. You should tell him because, if he reciprocates your feelings, it's only fair that he knows how you feel.
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A
female
reader, amelia3w  +, writes (31 October 2008):
it does sound like your in a bit of a problem. reading the qustion, at first, i thought it might be one of those things where you just want some1 to like you, but when they stop liking you , you miss them. not 'them' specificly... but some1.then as i read on ...it sounds like ur really in love with this guy. and the obvious reply is to tell him, and see what he says. but im not sure if this is such a good idea. from what i've read it sounds like he was in love with you for a couple of years. if he has gotten over you, and you tell him, that could make him extremly uncomfortable. but if he still likes u, then it would make him happier than anything.in a way, you have missed ur chance, if u dont want to risk making him unhappy...but...heres my advice:go for it!...tell him you love him, and ur sorry for all the no's u gave him, and ur sorry if ur too late and ur sorry if he's over u, but u need to let him know because imagine if he still loves u and u never told him and missed ur chance again. its a 50/50 chance and its one u should definitly take.worst case scenario is that he say im sorry, ive moved on. well then , at least u know and can move on too.on the other hand, he could still love u, as it soyunds like it took him quite a while to get over u!do what feels right..and just TELL HIM!!....let me know how t turns out!!:DX
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